I took a Sh800,000 loan behind my husband’s back and got scammed. How do I repay it?

I am 31 and married with no kids. I am currently working in the private sector where I am paid about Sh48,000. I have a Sh800,000 secret loan that I pay Sh14,000 monthly instalments. I had taken this loan to pay an agency for a secret visa to go abroad for work but I got conned in the process and lost the money. My monthly expenses are Sh4,800 tithe and Sh1,200 in church donations, a merry-go-round of Sh4,000, transport and lunch Sh5,800, Sh3,000 holiday kitty, Sh5,000 salon, Sh3,000 mum, Sh4,000 mobile loan. My concern is financial management. I don't know what I do with my money. I can't tell my husband about my secret loan because I have nothing to show for what I did with the money. I feel like my husband is progressing financially more than me. He is saving and investing while I am not. I am stuck. Anita

Dominic Karanja, a financial planning and investments consultant

Your Sh48,000 salary is almost fully committed before it reaches your pocket. Monthly expenses total about Sh44,800, leaving only Sh3,200 for savings, emergencies, and unexpected costs. Your two loan repayments of Sh14,000 the secret loan and the Sh4,000 mobile loan take up Sh18,000, or 37.5 percent of your income, which severely limits your capacity to save or invest. This explains why it feels as though you do not know where your money goes.

Your immediate priority should be stabilising your finances and reducing the debt burden that is slowing your cash flow, rather than investing. Comparing yourself with your husband, who is already saving and investing, may only add pressure because you are at different financial stages. Focus first on improving monthly cash flow, clearing expensive debt, building an emergency fund, and then investing consistently.

Give immediate attention to the Sh4,000 monthly mobile loan repayment, as it shows your income is not fully covering your regular needs. Once the mobile loan is cleared, avoid taking another one and redirect the Sh4,000 toward reducing debt or building a small emergency fund. Your first major milestone should be reaching a point where you no longer need to borrow for ordinary expenses or to survive until payday, creating greater stability and control.

For the next 6–12 months, consider a temporary financial recovery period by trimming discretionary expenses without cutting out the commitments that matter most. For instance, you could reduce salon expenses from Sh5,000 to Sh2,500, holiday savings from Sh3,000 to Sh1,000, merry-go-round contributions from Sh4,000 to Sh2,000, and transport and lunch from Sh5,800 to Sh5,000, while maintaining essentials such as support for your mother, tithe, and loan repayments. These changes could lower monthly commitments from about Sh44,800 to Sh37,300, freeing roughly Sh7,500 for debt repayment or savings. The goal is not to eliminate everything you enjoy or value, but to align each commitment with your current financial position.

The Sh800,000 loan is the biggest challenge in your current financial situation, especially because the money was lost through fraud and left no asset or investment behind. Even so, this loss should not define your financial future for years to come. Start by confirming the outstanding balance, interest rate, and remaining repayment period so you can understand the actual cost of the debt. If the loan is expensive or long term, consider restructuring or consolidation only if it clearly reduces the cost or improves affordability.

Your hesitation to tell your husband is understandable, especially because the loan came from an attempt to improve your circumstances that unfortunately ended in fraud. However, one poor financial decision does not make you a bad person, and hiding the debt may create greater financial and emotional strain over time. If the marriage is safe and you believe your husband can respond constructively, consider being honest with him, not necessarily so he can repay the loan, but so you can acknowledge what happened, take responsibility, and seek accountability and support as you work toward clearing the debt.

Adopt a system that divides your income into clear categories instead of treating the entire salary as available for spending. Separate your money into bills and obligations, daily spending, and emergency savings, even if you begin with only Sh1,000–2,000 per month for the emergency fund. This structure will help you control your spending, build saving discipline, and reduce unnecessary expenses. Most importantly, avoid borrowing for normal monthly expenses; postpone non-essential purchases when they cannot be comfortably covered by your salary.

Regaining control of your finances should begin with acknowledging past mistakes and taking deliberate steps to restore control over your income. By settling costly mobile debt, temporarily reducing non-essential expenditure, and directing any available surplus into a high-yield Money Market Fund to serve as an emergency fund, you can shift from short-term financial survival to gradual wealth creation. Your situation is not permanent; establishing a personal savings buffer now can strengthen your financial independence, confidence, and long-term progress.

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