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Monday, October 5, 2026

Joey starts a movement

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For Brian Richardson of MacMasters Beach, “A topical celebrity encounter (C8) occurred about 10 years ago, when I was selling copies of Big League magazine for Rotary at Penrith Stadium. Andrew ‘Joey’ Johns approached, and I expected either a sale or some words of wisdom on the game. Alas, all he said was ‘Where are the toilets, mate?’”

Bart Fielden of Avoca Beach attended his sister’s 21st at “the trendiest restaurant in Kings Cross” and “was talking over my shoulder and walked straight into a gentleman, making him trip and fall flat on his arse. As I apologised and started to help him up, I felt I recognised him from somewhere. The penny dropped when I saw his tall red-haired date. As I helped Tom Cruise up, he was staring daggers at me. Thankfully Nicole thought it was hilarious, and as the security detail swooped in, she waved them off, saying ‘Don’t worry, he’s just a kid.’ I’m not sure if I’d have survived if she wasn’t there.”

″Jo Rainbow, I’m not sure if Eine Kleine Nachtmusik would deter bogong moths (C8), but it would certainly deter me,” thinks Greg Oehm of Western Creek (Tas). “I can’t stand the dreadful thing. I’m just grateful bogong moths are a problem we don’t have here in Tasmania!”

Warren Menteith of Bali isn’t sure about music deterring pests but can guarantee that “playing Barry Manilow at shopping centres deters teenagers from hanging out”.

“I have an EV and don’t need to buy anything from a servo,” informs Manbir Singh Kohli of Pemulwuy. “However, I still need to pump up my tyres, a courtesy service that servos provide for their customers. I feel like I am stealing something when I use their air service for free. What’s the protocol?”

Ron Polglaze of Hazelbrook writes: “Having seen the running of the Golden Spurtle Championships on the weekend, I had the horrible realisation this morning that my ‘couthability’ is sorely lacking. Having been taught that soup is eaten from the opposite side of the bowl and dessert from the nearer edge, each with the appropriate spoon, how should I eat my porridge, and with which spoon? I fear that this is beyond the ken of a mere mortal like Modern Guru or I. Could we perhaps draw on the spirit of June Dally-Watkins or our own Pearly Spurtle champions to save me from social opprobrium?”

Column8@smh.com.au

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