This Deepavali, a family longs for its missing light

In the weeks before Deepavali, Komathi Rethinam usually rallies her family to bake cookies and make murukku. On Deepavali eve and the day itself, the family celebrates together.

Earlier this year, during a trip to India, Komathi bought clothes for everyone in her family. Her reminder was simple: save these for Deepavali.

Today, the family does not know when Komathi will come home.

The 48-year-old was declared missing after floods swept through the Nepal-Tibet border region on Aug 26. She had been on a pilgrimage to Mount Kailash.

“It’s very painful for us because we have been excited for Deepavali since January. She bought colour-coordinated clothes for the whole family to wear.

“This is the funny part – it’s never happened before. Some of us buy things for each other, but not this far ahead of Deepavali. She gave them to us back then,” Komathi’s elder brother, Manivannan, told FMT Lifestyle.

Married with a 15-year-old son and close to her extended family, Komathi had been sending photographs and videos of her time in Nepal.

On the morning of the floods, she sent the family a video and photograph of the bridge and immigration building the group was heading towards.

“This was at 9.42am Malaysian time. The flood hit at 10.59am,” Manivannan recalled.

When her updates stopped, he assumed she had lost phone signal. That evening, their youngest sister Yoganandhini forwarded him a video of floodwaters crashing into a building.

He recognised the building from Komathi’s video that morning. “My heart just sank. I knew my sister was in trouble,” Manivannan said.

He began piecing together his sister’s movements. Komathi had told the family that immigration clearance would take two to three hours.

Another video he found showed Komathi’s group crossing the bridge towards the building. He estimated they would have reached it by 9.50am-9.55am Malaysian time.

The timeline left Manivannan fearing his sister had been inside the building when the floodwaters struck. But what had happened to her?

The oldest of five siblings, he tried to reassure a family looking to him for answers he did not yet have. “I had to put on a brave face and keep everyone calm, and that was not easy.”

Now, they await news of a daughter and sister who was always concerned about everyone else – checking in on her parents and reminding Manivannan to eat when he became too busy.

For Father’s Day, Komathi had suggested everyone wear football jerseys, bringing rival supporters together. “She loves having family time,” shared Yoganandhini, 36.

Komathi would often gather her nieces and nephews at Yoganandhini’s home over weekends. Between visits, the sisters kept in touch via WhatsApp – exchanges Yoganandhini now dearly misses.

Komathi also loved decorating: for Deepavali, the sisters would choose curtains and flowers together. They would also wear matching Punjabi suits.

Yoganandhini has put up decorations Komathi had chosen for her in India. In her room is a photograph of her missing sister that she looks at on particularly difficult days.

Yoganandhini had planned to pick Komathi up when she was due to return on Sept 6. Komathi’s last reply to her gave the time she expected to arrive.

For Manivannan, the uncertainty over his sister’s fate extends beyond his own home. As coordinator and spokesperson for Malaysia Solidarity Families in Hope (Masfih), he also helps other families with missing loved ones.

Manivannan said families face mounting financial pressures from household expenses and other commitments as they wait for answers.

One-off federal financial assistance was among Masfih’s immediate needs – help that would not resolve the uncertainty, but could ease some of the financial strain on affected families.

Masfih has also helped secure repayment deferments from banks.

As homes come alight this Deepavali and families gather to celebrate, some are still waiting for answers and for the return of loved ones who make their homes feel whole.

“She’s the light of our house and we really need her,” said Yoganandhini.

“Even now, I send her WhatsApp messages. Whenever I feel down, whenever I miss her, I send her messages in the hope that one day, the messages will show double ticks and she’ll say, ‘I’m coming home’.”

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