Anthony LaPaglia: ‘There is not a role I didn’t get that I ever gave more than four hours of grievance to – even Tony Soprano’

I didn’t know before reading your new memoir that you were almost Tony Soprano. Is there a role that you really wanted that you didn’t end up getting?

It’s not Tony Soprano. There is not a role that I didn’t get that I ever gave more than four hours of grievance to. When I don’t get something, I move on. Because there’s no point. I’m very pragmatic that way. It’s for your own mental health. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.

The thing you have to understand is if you don’t get something, it’s not personal. It can be as simple as the director has already got three brunettes or three male actors and they don’t need a fourth. It’s never personally about you. It’s about the picture they have in their head … Or sometimes a role is already out to another actor and they’re just waiting for them to say yes. That is one thing I wish they wouldn’t do, because that’s a waste of my time. If you’ve got an offer out to Ben Affleck or whoever, don’t put me on the revolving wheel of possibility. Because if I find out, I’m not doing it. Not that they care! [laughs]

If you were casting your dream project with three actors you’ve already worked with, plus one new face, who would be on your team?

Allison Janney. Kerry Armstrong. Alison Whyte. And a new face … I just saw Moneyball and I don’t think I ever took Brad Pitt that seriously but that guy is phenomenal. Great movie.

Acting opposite Janney in A View from the Bridge on Broadway sounds as though it was a transcendental experience for you.

It was. That’s the thing about Arthur Miller’s plays: the women are the glue. The women make the plays work. My performance is not going to be enough to make it work – I’ve been so lucky to have two phenomenal women [Janney and Whyte in Death of a Salesman] play the lead roles with me. Without them, you have no play.

Your account of your years working on Without a Trace is really fascinating – that era of network television where they were making 24, 25, 26 episodes a season feels like a bygone time. Would you ever do a show like that again?

If I did, I would approach it completely differently. I would not get involved in quality control. I would figure out the lines that didn’t work for me, change them and get on with it …

When I wrote an episode it totally transformed relationship with the writers because I suddenly realised how difficult it was to write a story that gets chopped into four pieces, where you have to pause for five minutes of commercials then come back and re-engage your audience. Very difficult. When I wrote the first one [LaPaglia wrote two episodes], I went, “Oh god, I need to go and apologise to some of these guys!”

The workload on Without a Trace was counterproductive to doing good work. I would find myself acting on autopilot. I’d have the new episode that we were shooting next week sitting in my chair. The minute I finished doing a take, I’d go, “Right, bring in the writers, I’m going to talk to them for a minute.” Then we’d go back and do another take. Then they’d come in and I’d start talking about the next episode and what I think they should fix. It was like being schizophrenic … And at the end of it, I realised the show would have been successful whether I did that or not. So annoying. I wish I’d known that when I started.

Which role has been most personally fulfilling for you, and why?

Lantana. From the minute that I read it, I was in love with it. There wasn’t a single word in that script that I wanted to change, which is so unusual for me. Andrew Bovell wrote an absolutely lean, suspenseful script and we basically shot it exactly as he wrote it – that’s very rare. The preparation I got to do [to play a Sydney police detective] was incredible. It was some of the funniest stuff and some of the most heartbreaking stuff, in a way. I ended up being placed with these two Sydney detectives who were themselves under investigation. They were eventually found guilty, of course. They were the funniest guys, though. I remember they took me to Leichhardt once and everybody knew them. They didn’t pay for a single meal, ever, when I was there.

As someone who is also from Adelaide, I laughed out loud at your descriptions of the city, like: “There’s a bad energy running through it. Whenever I go back, I feel the same low-frequency unease that used to spook me as a kid.” Have your feelings about it changed at all?

A little bit. Not drastically. Remember, I’m talking about an Adelaide that I left a very long time ago. I was there recently working [on Death of a Salesman] and the Adelaide audiences were amazing. I didn’t feel Adelaide had changed all that much itself but I was greatly appreciative of the audiences. They were some of the most raucous. They laughed much more than other audiences did. Because there’s a dark streak in Adelaide, which I appreciated.

If a biopic was made about your life, who would play you?

God, that’s such an awkward question. Channing Tatum!

You write about ageing into playing Willy Loman. Are there any theatre roles that loom large for you as you grow older?

Anyone who’s written for a 67-year-old. There’s not many! I’m not a big wishlist guy. I’m much more in the moment. I’m a gun for hire. I’ve tried to self-generate projects and I found that to be an incredibly difficult and boring experience. I have no capacity to raise money. I can’t ask somebody to put money into a project that I know they’re going to lose money on. And they will! I’ve been the person that’s lost money. I’ve done the cardinal sin of investing in my own projects and I’ve lost so much money! And it doesn’t matter what contract you sign, either. You can sign a contract that says first dollar repayment, then they lie and cook the books. It’s happened to me more than once. Mostly with Australian films.

It is so much harder to get anything financed in Australia, right?

Well, they’re better at cooking the books. [laughs]

What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

“Know your lines and don’t hit the furniture.” That is Spencer Tracy’s acting advice. I’ve always thought, dead on.

What has been your most memorable interaction with a fan?

This one was at a distance, which I liked. It was quite early in my career. I was walking down Sixth Avenue in New York, which is quite a wide avenue, and I hear from the other side: “Hey, LaPaglia!” I went, “Yeah?” And the guy says, “I hate you! I hate every movie that you’re in!” And I went, “Good for you. You have taste!” He laughed, I laughed and on we went.

That’s what I liked about New York back then. People just had no filter. My daughter lives there now and I always thought I’d end up back there. But having gone back to see my daughter a few times in New York, there’s only three good months a year in New York. Summer’s too hot. Winter’s miserable. I like California now.

But also I’m pretty sure I’m going to move to Mexico shortly. It is more to ride out Trump than anything. There’s no way that he’s going to let an election happen. I think you’re going to see some significant outbreaks of civil unrest. And do you know what? I’d just rather not be there for that.

I don’t like Trump but he’s quite old and he won’t be around much longer. That’s the saving grace. Once he goes, that whole party falls to pieces. The only thing that keeps it together is the cult of Trump. There’s all these people behind Trump that actually run the country and they won’t have that cover any more. They’re not very brave, they don’t want to put themselves out in the open – but Trump keeps outing them! [laughs] That’s one thing I like about him: he has no filter. He has no loyalty to anyone but himself. The idea that he thinks his son is going to run and win is a joke. His son is one of the most dislikable humans on Earth. Even more dislikable than Donald. At least Donald’s funny!

Do you have a nemesis? (And based on your memoir: is it John Landis?)

As you get older, those things count less. I don’t have the energy for that any more. I don’t think I would have considered John Landis a nemesis. I just did not understand him. I still don’t understand him! I’m not the only person that’s clashed with him but there are other people who swear by him. I just can’t respond to screaming. He screams a lot and that bothers me. It’s unnecessary and off-putting on a set. He may not do that any more, it was a long time ago. But I have read things where he said, “I don’t understand why he doesn’t like me” and I found it remarkable that he doesn’t understand. Maybe he doesn’t register that stuff. I’ll certainly won’t forget it! I’m just waiting for the lawsuit.

• The Life We Choose by Anthony LaPaglia is published on 27 October (HarperCollins)