Are you a nightmare in public spaces? Former royal butler shares the signs your behaviour in pubs, cafes and trains is rude

Smoking while walking on a narrow pavement, sneezing without covering your mouth or interrupting a sales assistant mid-conversation – these are some of the classic habits that have long annoyed people in public.

But as technology becomes a bigger part of everyday life, a whole new list of public nuisances has emerged. 

From loud Zoom calls in cafés and vaping in prohibited areas, to refusing to split the bill evenly at a group dinner, these modern habits can quickly become a nightmare for those around you.

And you might be guilty of one without even realising.

But fear not, as etiquette expert and former royal butler Julius F Mr Smith has revealed which public behaviours are likely to rub someone up the wrong way – and how to avoid becoming the person everyone is secretly judging.

He said: 'For most people, good manners comes down to common sense and basic consideration for others. But for a small minority, it seems the rules need spelling out, and it's usually this same minority who manage to spoil things for everyone else. 

'What follows is a list of the small, everyday lapses in public etiquette that quietly test the patience of the rest of us, and a few gentle rules for avoiding them.' 

Julius F Smith, former royal butler and founder of Regal Afternoon Tea, reveals which public behaviours are likely to rub someone up the wrong way

Overstaying your welcome at a coffee shop 

For some café-goers, there appears to be an unspoken awkwardness in occupying a table for hours without ordering a second drink or bite to eat – particularly in a small independent coffee shop. 

This became the centre of a recent discussion on Reddit, where one user who had spent three hours catching up with a friend in a coffee shop questioned if ordering only one beverage was unacceptable during that time frame. 

Opinions were completely split, with half of respondents arguing that guests should absolutely buy a second item or a snack out of courtesy, particularly at independent cafes. 

The other half insisted that buying one drink 'pays' for the table, arguing that owners rarely mind unless the shop is packed and tables are scarce. 

But what is an etiquette expert's take on the matter? 

Julius said: 'If times weren't already difficult enough for independent coffee shops competing with chains and home-working culture, they also have to contend with customers who buy a single coffee and make it last two hours, often commandeering several extra seats at the table around them in the process. 

'A coffee shop is not a library. The polite thing to do is enjoy your drink, do your work if you must, and then move on so someone else can have the table. 

'It's telling that a number of cafés have now started banning laptops altogether; a sign that this small discourtesy has become a genuine business problem rather than just a minor annoyance.'

Public grooming 

Clipping your nails, spraying perfume or brushing and styling your hair on public transport can be a real nuisance for some passengers – especially those with allergies and sensitivities to particular scents. 

It's become an increasingly familiar sight on social media thanks to the 'Get Ready With Me' videos often performed by content creators – but it appears not everyone wants a front-row seat to someone else's grooming routine.

Julius said: 'I was genuinely taken aback recently to find myself sitting next to a woman on the train applying a full face of makeup. 

'What struck me most was that nobody else so much as raised an eyebrow; it has apparently become unremarkable. To her credit, when it came to the hairspray, she did retreat to the loo to finish the job. 

'Unfortunately, she had also applied so much perfume beforehand that I could barely breathe for the rest of the journey. The simplest solution here is the oldest one: prepare before you leave the house, not after.' 

The four-minute voice note

Phone calls can be annoying enough in public, but some people would argue that lengthy voice notes are just as bad – particularly when they're played out loud. 

For those listening to a seemingly endless monologue from someone they've never met, a journey can quickly turn tiresome.

Julius said: 'I'll admit I'm not a fan of voice notes in general, and if someone sends me one, I usually play it back at double speed, since so many of them ramble on far longer than necessary. 

'What I find genuinely baffling, though, is people who play their voice notes out loud in public for everyone within earshot to hear, headphones apparently optional. 

'Then again, perhaps that's still preferable to the person having an entire phone conversation on speaker in a quiet carriage. This is a close runner-up for most irritating public habit.'

The group bill debate

To many diners, there are fewer things that can derail a pleasant catch up with friends, family or colleagues than a conversation over who owes what.  

While some people are perfectly happy to split the bill evenly, others would rather work out every drink, side and extra – and for some, this can be a stressful and unnecessarily awkward experience.

Julius said: 'This is one problem with an easy fix, and yet people still manage to make it awkward. The rule is simple: whoever extended the invitation pays. 

'If there was an agreement beforehand to go dutch, then the bill is split evenly between everyone, regardless of who ordered what. Squabbling over a card machine at the end of a meal is one of the more needlessly stressful ways to end an otherwise pleasant evening.'

Pungent foods in enclosed spaces 

For some, it's better to appreciate the aroma of your lunch somewhere you can open a window – which is why fish, boiled eggs or a particularly fragrant dish can divide opinion on public transport.

Julius said: 'On the rare occasions I catch a late train, I usually find myself sitting opposite someone who has just boarded with a takeaway, and the smell that follows is often overpowering. 

'There's a real lack of consideration in bringing pungent food into an enclosed, shared space. 

'I recall a story about a family being removed from a flight after bringing on board a curry large enough to feed ten passengers, the aroma of which reached every corner of the cabin. It's an extreme example, but it illustrates the principle well: what smells like dinner to you may smell like an ordeal to everyone else.'

Phantom table or seat reserving 

An empty seat is an empty seat – or at least that's how some passengers see it. 

Finding a bag or coat occupying one on a busy train, Tube or bus can be particularly frustrating when there are people standing nearby who are in need of one. 

Julius said: 'We've all done it, getting on a bus or train and placing a bag on the seat next to us rather than on the floor or in the overhead rack, partly out of habit and partly because it feels more hygienic. 

'Then someone boards whom we'd rather not sit beside, and suddenly our belongings become a very convenient barrier, only moved once someone actually asks. If you genuinely want two seats to yourself, the honest solution is to pay for both.'

As for those who 'reserve' an empty table at a café or restaurant with their bag or coat while they place an order at the counter, Julius added: 'I'm genuinely torn on this one. 

'I believe in first come, first served, and yet we've all done exactly this; walked into a busy café, spotted a free table, placed a coat or bag on a chair, and then gone to the counter to order. 

'It isn't strictly fair, but it has become such an ingrained part of café culture that trying to forbid it would likely cause more problems for owners than it solves. Like buses, another table usually turns up before too long.'

Ordering the Guinness last

There's always one drink in the round that undisputedly takes longer than the others – and Guinness is often the obvious candidate. 

Ordering it last can mean everyone else is standing around waiting while the pint gets its time to pour and settle.

Julius said: 'A pub landlord once told me that the most infuriating customers at his bar were the ones who left their Guinness order until last in a round, forgetting that it needs time to pour, settle before pouring more and settle before you finally get to drink it. 

'The lesson applies more broadly than just to Guinness: think about the person taking the order, and the people behind you in the queue, and structure your order to make everyone's life a little easier.'

Vaping in the street or in prohibited areas

Vaping might generally be seen as the lesser of two evils compared to cigarettes, but breathing in someone else's vapour remains a nuisance for bystanders – and a genuine health trigger for asthmatics. 

Julius objects to walking behind someone and having to pass through the cloud of smoke they leave behind

Julius said: 'On balance, vaping is preferable to smoking on the street, but I do object to walking behind someone and then having to pass through the cloud they leave behind. 

'And a small, specific request to vapers everywhere: please dispose of your used devices in a bin, not on the pavement.' 

Turning the café into a boardroom

For some people, there's a difference between quietly answering a work call and effectively broadcasting an entire Zoom meeting to the room. 

But when everyone around you can hear colleagues discussing work, it can feel as though the whole café has accidentally joined the meeting.

Julius advised: 'If you have absolutely no alternative but to take an online meeting in a café or restaurant, the bare minimum is to wear headphones, keep your voice down, and stay aware of the people sitting around you. 

'Bear in mind, too, that some conversations may touch on sensitive or confidential matters, so a degree of discretion is worth exercising even with headphones in. 

'What you should avoid at all costs is turning your table into an impromptu boardroom, complete with papers spread across every surface. A café is not a co-working space, however convenient it may seem.'

Keeping AirPods or headphones in when nothing is playing 

To some, keeping AirPods or headphones in without any music playing often sends out a 'do not disturb' signal – and can even make a person look rude to anyone trying to start a conversation.

But, according to Julius, this may be a genuinely harmless act. 

The expert said: 'I'm now of an age where I regularly forget my glasses which are pushed up on top of my head, and I have, on occasion, kept my AirPods in long after the podcast or music has finished. Is that really so wrong? 

'Sometimes you simply want to block out the world for a while, even if only by pretending to. That said, if someone approaches to speak to you, the polite thing is to take them out properly and give them your full attention.'

Claiming the only table with a plug socket 

A café table next to a socket can be a prime spot for anyone with a laptop or dying phone – so when someone without anything to charge settles there for hours, some customers might wonder whether the table could have been put to better use. 

Julius said: 'It's a genuine convenience that public spaces now often provide somewhere to charge your phone, but it's worth remembering that when only one socket is available, you're probably not the only person who needs it. 

'Once your phone has enough charge to get you through the next few hours, consider unplugging and letting someone else take a turn. Nobody needs to leave at exactly 100 per cent.' 

Fumbling for your ticket at the barrier 

For seasoned rail commuters, few things are more infuriating than passengers who wait until the very last moment at the gate to dig out or search for their oyster card, ticket or phone. 

Julius added: 'This one matters especially on busy transport networks like the London Underground: have your ticket or phone ready well before you reach the barriers, so that a single tap keeps the queue flowing smoothly. 

'Stopping right at the gate to search through pockets or bags causes an immediate bottleneck and, inevitably, a fair amount of quiet frustration from everyone stacking up behind you.' 

The Bluetooth bandit 

If your idea of a perfect sunny day involves heading to your local park, green patch or beach armed with a Bluetooth speaker and blasting music at 80W, you might actually be the one ruining everyone else's peace.

Julius said: 'When exactly did it become socially acceptable to bring a speaker into a public park and play music at volume for everyone nearby? 

'One of the real pleasures of a summer picnic is the ambient soundscape of a park, such as, children playing, people chatting, birds singing, not whatever playlist one person has decided everyone else should enjoy whether they like it or not.' 

Obstructing the 'fast lane' of an escalator 

Originally designed for the London Underground to let rushing commuters pass, the rule of standing to one side of the escalator has spread to airports and busy rail stations worldwide. 

Today, failing to stand on the correct side is a major faux pas that will likely earn you frustrated grumbles – and a few accidental bumps. 

Julius added: 'On an escalator, there's an unwritten but widely understood rule: stand to one side and leave a clear path for anyone who wants to walk.  

'This applies even if you're travelling with a suitcase, hold it close rather than letting it block the path of people trying to pass.'

He further suggested: 'It might genuinely help if train stations and airports played the occasional reminder video, since not everyone seems to have received the memo.'

Pavement rage triggers  

The E-scooter litterer

E-scooters may be the future of urban travel, but many would agree that they currently spend as much time littering pavements and street corners as they do weaving through traffic. 

For pedestrians, having to step around or into the road because someone has simply left one in their path can be particularly irritating.

Julius said: 'I have my own opinions about e-scooters, which I suspect align with a fairly predictable readership, but regardless of how you feel about them, anyone who rides one should be considerate about where it's left afterwards. 

'Scooters abandoned in the middle of a pavement are more than an inconvenience, they're a genuine hazard, particularly for visually impaired pedestrians, for whom an unexpected obstacle at ankle height could easily cause a serious accident.' 

The pavement phone zombie 

Walking slowly while staring at a phone can be a dangerous combination for anyone behind you who is trying to get somewhere. 

All it takes is for one person drifting along at walking pace that leaves a queue of people trying to work out how to get past. 

Julius said: 'First, a general note of caution about using your phone at all while walking in a busy public space. 

'Second, a bit of situational awareness goes a long way: other people have places to be and shouldn't be held up by someone strolling along, eyes fixed on a screen. 

'If a call or message genuinely needs your full attention, it's far better to step aside, deal with it, and then continue on your way.'