The silence of adolescent boys and its costs

Childhood was universally described as a cherished phase, a time when boys can cry, be afraid, and be “free”. But adolescence is a remarkable shift. Having a group of friends is survival for boys, yet sizing up and teasing was reported as the most unpleasant part of being in a group.

The central question to ask: if adolescent boys need help, can we imagine public initiatives that support their unique needs? Can we, as Richard Reeves says, stop seeing “the problem of boys as the problem with boys”?

Written by: Luis Miranda, Natasha Joshi

5 min readOct 25, 2026 07:32 AM IST First published on: Oct 25, 2026 at 07:16 AM IST

Vulnerability in adolescent boys is not a subject that is often discussed, but one that has huge societal consequences — for both young men and women. One of us, Natasha, leads the gender portfolio at Rohini Nilekani Philanthropies (RNP), and repeatedly found that boys are conditioned from a young age to keep their mouths shut when it comes to feelings. A group of researchers commissioned by RNP spoke with more than 80 Indian young males — aged between 18 and 24 and belonging to different social classes — about what their lives were like. Expectedly, a lot was said about the need to earn and provide for the family. But as the conversations progressed, a nuanced image of adolescent boyhood appeared — one with many unspoken challenges.

Childhood was universally described as a cherished phase, a time when boys can cry, be afraid, and be “free”. But adolescence is a remarkable shift. Having a group of friends is survival for boys, yet sizing up and teasing was reported as the most unpleasant part of being in a group. Adolescent boys get picked on for their looks, their genitals, the pitch of their voice, or their physical prowess. Yet, they can’t complain as that makes one an even bigger target. When these early lessons teach boys that expressing distress or asking for help is bad, it’s no surprise that we end up in a society where many men see help seeking as a sign of weakness.