Being a virgin at 39 is not a curse!

I am tired. I keep losing men because I didn’t give my body. I’ll be 39 next year and I’ve been advised medically to try and get pregnant because I have fibroids, and I don’t want to get pregnant out of wedlock. Neither do I want to have sex before my wedding night. I almost got married this year, but the first stage, which is introduction, got cancelled two weeks to the day, all because I refused to have sex.

In his words, “After the introduction, we can start living together as a couple, then plan our wedding from there,” but I told him, “Introduction is not marriage. We can’t be living together before our wedding because I know it will involve sex.” So, he called off the introduction. I met another guy last week and we exchanged contacts. The same day we started talking, he started talking about sex, and I told him I’m not ready for it until I’m married. But the argument has continued since then.

I avoided visiting him at his house or him visiting me at my house because I’m scared that he might want to do something stupid. He’s called me selfish for deciding to keep my virginity till marriage, and we are really not talking again.

Imagine me preaching sexual purity to someone and the person asked where my sexual purity has led me. She mocked me that I’m still single with all my preaching, that if I was married with kids, she’d have believed me that it pays to be sexually abstinent, but I don’t have anything to show for it. What she said broke my heart, and I cried to God to remember me.

Anytime I tell a guy I’m a virgin and will remain one till my wedding night, they stop talking to me. Please counsel me.

J.39

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It would interest you to know my favourite part of your story is the mockery you encountered and the hurt and tears that came with it! I’m already imagining how you’d testify about how that lady would eventually eat her words and salute God in your life when He arrives, and that’s if she’s not too embarrassed to face you when your glory appears!

What a good God! Hearty congratulations in advance! I would say this although you may not believe me, your right spouse is yet to come, and he may be blocked from coming your way as a result of some battles you don’t even know you may be fighting!

I make bold to say most ladies unmarried at your age more often than not have their marriages spiritually attacked. And if you give in to any of the gentlemen pressuring you for sex, there’s no assurance they’ll still go ahead and marry you!

After waiting all these years, enduring so much heartbreak from multiple disappointments and even physical torture from sexual urges, I think it would be very foolish of you to give in just like that! I believe God is ready for you to get married; however, the issue now is how you’re going to fight off whatever is blocking the right person who would wait till your wedding night. I know a virgin who got married at 43 and had her three children before 50. I know another 48-year-old virgin who just got married and is having a most beautiful experience, although I pray you settle down in marriage before your 40th birthday.

On your fibroid issue, may I announce to you that very many sexually active women also suffer fibroids! Some of them even die while trying to remove it through surgery. Getting pregnant does not cure fibroids, though pregnancy and the postpartum period can cause many fibroids to shrink or decrease in size. On the other hand, some can cause pain and heavy bleeding after delivery! And even if a fibroid shrinks or appears to go away, existing fibroid tissue is not eliminated, and new fibroids can still develop later!

In all of these, you’re at a vantage position if you can activate the power of God in you to shed more light on your destiny and guide you! Believe me, despite your age mates having children in their teens, I tell you, you’re one of the luckiest women alive if only you could make the most of your spirituality! If only you knew how God glorifies those who choose to wait for Him and refuse to defile His temple, you’d happily wait for His choice, which I believe is even hanging around you! I wish you God’s favour and mercy and look forward to reading your testimony!

I invite you to follow me on Facebook – TEMILOLU OKEOWO, Instagram @OkeowoTemilolu.

Are you still engaging in premarital sex? Each act devalues you! Your wonders are waiting to start. God is waiting for you to become a Secondary Virgin! You are most welcome on board the chastity campaign train, and Girls Club is open for all girls and ladies. Please text your name, age, school or occupation and state of domicile to 07086620576.