Parents’ social media habits to blame for ‘snowflake’ generation, professor warns

Parents ought to keep mobile phones away from the dinner table and focus on direct interaction with their children, an expert has warned.

Professor Peter Fonagy, who recently led a major review into ADHD, autism and mental health conditions, condemned "appalling" instances of adults scrolling through screens during family meals.

He advised parents to reduce their own social media use to demonstrate better habits to their offspring.

Addressing the House of Commons Health and Social Care Committee, he told MPs that everyday youth interactions are "replaced by mobile phones" and "they have greater stress and less support".

Prof Fonagy also urged families to stop disparaging youth, calling the phrase "snowflake generation" an "insult" and adding: "We need to be less spiteful and less depriving in our approach to young people."

Prof Fonagy, who is head of the Division of Psychology and Language Sciences at UCL, said it is “easier” to call young people the “snowflake generation” rather than admit that “we’ve really messed it up for them, and it’s our fault”.

He said: “One thing that we could all do in relation to discouraging children on overuse social media is to use our own social media less.

“The number of people who are engaged, rather than face-to-face interactions, with their cell phones over meals is actually appalling.

“And of course it sets a model for young people because they are there to learn from us, and that’s how human beings learn: is looking at others and see what they do.

“If we set an appalling model, can we be surprised that they do appalling things?”

He went on: “I do a lot of advising parents about how they should bring up their children, and there’s one advice that I give that’s above all advice: stop criticising your child, and notice when they do something that you want them to do, and reinforce that, encourage that.

“I think we need to be less spiteful and less depriving in our approach to young people, and far more encouraging.”

Asked about the term “snowflake generation”, Prof Fonagy said: “The ‘snowflake generation’ is an insult to young people.

“I challenge all of you here to cope with the pressures that young people are under and sustain the quality of childhood and young adulthood that you all were privileged to experience.”

He highlighted how children and young people are under increased stress including financial pressures, insecure work and unaffordable rents, as well as “increased stress in terms of social media, in terms of social comparisons that are incessant, in terms of educational pressures”.

He said that young people are “less well protected, less well supported” with lower levels of belonging in schools and communities.

“They don’t have other young people to go to,” he said.

“Now, when you were young, and I was, we had friends, and we went to see friends.

“If that’s taken away and is replaced by mobile phones, you know they have greater stress and less support.”

He added: “Looking at you, most of you, are of a generation that was brought up believing that you will have a future that’s better than your parents, we are currently with a generation who are convinced – and rightly so – that they will not have the opportunities that their parents had.

“That sense of hopelessness… that’s part of their beliefs, but also part of our beliefs about them, is an enormously powerful influence, but it also makes us feel somewhat guilty in relation to them, and therefore it’s much easier for us to say ‘they are a snowflake generation’ than for us to say ‘actually we’ve really messed it up for them, and it’s our fault’.”

Prof Fonagy’s review, published last week, found that common mental health problems and mental distress have “increased substantially”, particularly among young women.

It concluded that a rise in mental health problems “is real, is affecting everyday functioning and cannot be explained by greater awareness alone”.

In 1993, around one in six children and young people met the criteria for a common mental health disorder – and this rose to one in four by 2024, the review added.