My marriage… With Gloria Chukwu (Lady Koikoi)

I met my husband at the airport in Cairo, Egypt, while I was in transit to Kuwait. We boarded the same flight. We only exchanged pleasantries, and I gave him my email address. We started communicating through emails, letters, and phone calls. We did not really have a physical courtship.

Did you imagine the relationship would lead to marriage?

For me, starting a relationship while travelling abroad for a job was the last thing on my mind, but he was such a nice, kind-hearted man that I couldn’t resist his proposal. We started communicating through emails, letters, and phone calls. We did not really have a physical courtship.

How did you feel when he proposed to you?

I wasn’t really surprised when he proposed. After a few months of talking on the phone, he invited me to Greece, so I took a 10-day casual leave. It was within those 10 days that he proposed, and I already knew in my heart that he was going to propose because, at that point in my life, I was not ready to go into a relationship that would not lead to marriage.

How did your parents react to it?

They were not against it. The only question my dad asked was, “Do you love him?” and I said yes. For my mum, it was no news because she already knew about him, as she was my prayer warrior. For his family, it was the same thing because they knew the kind of man he was and that, for him to bring home a non-Igbo girl, there must be something special about that girl. So, they did not object to it.

What were your most memorable moments?

Our best moment was when we gave birth to our son; that is the best thing that ever happened to us. Also, when we were abroad, we could afford to go on family vacations to different places and go out every weekend. Here in Nigeria, it is a different kind of lifestyle. We still find time to have family get-togethers, but you know you can’t compare it. Things are so hard in Nigeria that you forget to be romantic. But, all in all, we try to make every day special.

What advice would you give to young couples?

They need to understand each other. Love alone cannot stand the test of time.

They should learn to tolerate each other and should not think they can change their partner because you cannot force someone to change. If your partner wants to change, he or she will do so willingly; otherwise, he or she will keep going back and forth. Another important thing is to respect each other and remember to use the words “please,” “thank you,” and “sorry.” Marriage is not too hard if you understand each other.