'I lost my love for swimming' - Smith comes out of retirement

ByIsaac Fanin

BBC World Service

Having ended a two-year exile from competitive swimming, South Africa's most successful Olympian Tatjana Smith has revealed she "lost the love" for her sport before stepping away from the pool in 2024.

The 29-year-old's decision to retire straight after the Paris Games came as a surprise, given she had just won 200m breaststroke gold in the French capital to add to her 100m title from Tokyo 2020.

But after two years away, which included several months in which she did not swim at all, Smith says she is now "free from the things that made me hate swimming".

"My whole life, I was kind of a robot towards swimming," she told Newsday on the BBC World Service.

"You're so zoned in, you're obsessed with something, so there isn't actually time for you to think about things outside of the pool that you potentially have a passion for.

"I think probably everyone would think that the timing [of retirement] was the worst. But I absolutely 100% believe it was the best decision at that time, and I still have so much peace about it."

Having also picked up a silver medal in both Tokyo and Paris, Smith's total of four Olympic medals for South Africa is matched only by fellow swimmer Chad le Clos, who claimed one gold and three silvers across the London 2012 and Rio 2016 Games.

But despite making history for her country, Smith says financial worries, which included a dispute with Swimming South Africa over prize money, also contributed to her decision to retire.

"The financial burden on any athlete is so tough," she explained.

"I relied on my parents funding me until I broke the world record at the Olympics. And then, all of a sudden, now people are interested in maybe sponsoring you.

"But the majority of sponsorships for athletes are based on performance. So then you have that pressure and expectation to always have to perform, otherwise you're not going to get paid.

"I think the financial side, and also being in a system where they're not really putting the athletes first, made it really difficult."

'The world is so overwhelming'

Smith won her first Olympic title under her maiden name Schoenmaker, before changing her surname when she married sports agent Joel Smith in 2023.

The marriage made her part of a wider South African sporting dynasty, given that her sister-in-law is Rachel Smith, who was married to Springboks captain Siya Kolisi before their split.

Tatjana Smith admits her own marriage changed the way she thought about her future.

"Thinking about families as a woman, you have to time it perfectly, because if you're pregnant, it's not like you can still compete."

While children are not yet part of her journey, Smith says working out what to do next was far from easy.

"I definitely understand what athletes mean from the post-Olympic depression," said the 2023 200m breaststroke world champion, who also counts Commonwealth and African titles among her achievements.

"It was such an emptiness in my life, because my whole life revolved around swimming.

"I don't have to eat at a certain time, I don't have to sleep at a certain time, I don't have to think about travelling or not spending time with family anymore.

"The world is so overwhelming. It's like, in which direction to go?

"It was definitely the toughest season that I had to go through. I think it's probably why it's made me a stronger person."

Initially, Smith took on speaking engagements to pay the bills.

She smiles when she admits: "I hate public speaking. I hate being in front of people."

The same cannot be said of her love for competition.

Having returned to the pool in order to keep fit, she decided to have a crack at triathlon, something she describes as a "crazy idea".

"The training was so intense, and I was like, 'OK, I might as well just go back to swimming if I'm going to train this hard'," she said.

"Every time I went back to the swimming pool and I dived in, I was like, 'Yeah, this is a feeling that I really miss so much'.

"I think slowly over the year and a half, I just realised 'Wow, I really do love swimming'."

A reinvention for LA 2028

Having made her decision to come out of retirement, Smith now wants to freshen things up and "try something new".

That means a change to the 50m breaststroke, an event which has just been added to the Olympic schedule for the first time ahead of the 2028 Games in Los Angeles.

"I thought, 'Why don't I try? Why don't I give myself that challenge? Reinvent myself'," said Smith.

"I always try and describe it to someone that maybe doesn't understand swimming; it's like a 400m runner and a 100m [runner]. It's two different body types, two different trainings, and that's where I'm going."

It means she has more than halved her training volume, with three sessions a week instead of eight - a change she believes will help her retain her love for her sport and live a more balanced life.

"I feel like I'm being so lazy because I used to do 12km per day and now the focus is on taking time to be as explosive as possible.

"Now I'm doing 12km over a whole week.

"I have 20 years of endurance in my pocket, but I can definitely see I don't have those fast twitch [muscle] fibres. It's a whole different way of teaching my body how to swim."

Those initial 20 years in the pool left Smith feeling burned out.

Now she says she has earned the right to do things on her terms.

"Swimming was an opportunity given to me by my parents and I believe I took it on full heartedly.

"But, for the first time, it's my decision whether I want to come back. I'm choosing swimming.

"I've achieved way more than I ever dreamed in my whole life, so I have nothing to prove."