When Nana spoke about the traumatic phase when son died at 2: 'Smoked 60 cigarettes'

Nana Patekar, who died at 75 in Goa on Thursday after suffering a cardiac arrest, is survived by his wife Neelkanthi and son Malhar. While Nana and Neelkanthi spent much of their married life living separately, the two remained married and never divorced.

Their relationship also endured one of the most painful tragedies a parent can face — the death of their elder son Durvasa, who passed away at just two-and-a-half years of age.Nana had spoken candidly about his marriage, family and the losses that shaped him in an earlier conversation with The Lallantop. Recalling how he first met Neelkanthi, the actor said the two worked together in the play ‘Jaat Na Pucho Sadhu Ki’.

While Nana was trying to establish himself as an actor, Neelkanthi was also working as a bank officer and was earning considerably more than him at the time.“She was working as an officer in a bank. I would get paid Rs 50 per show, and she had a salary of Rs 2500. I could only make Rs 750 after doing 15-20 shows,” he recalled.Nana said Neelkanthi’s financial and emotional support gave him the freedom to pursue acting at a time when there was no guarantee that it would work out.

“She told me that if you want to pursue this as a career… I am already making money so we have money coming in for the family. I am very grateful to her. I could pursue this profession only because of her. We didn’t know at that time if I would be successful or not,” he said.Eventually, Neelkanthi stepped away from acting to look after the family. Around the same period, the couple began living separately. Neelkanthi stayed with Nana’s mother and their son Malhar, while Nana lived separately.Nana also spoke openly about the devastating loss of his elder son Durvasa. He revealed that the child was born with a cleft palate and had difficulty seeing through one eye. The actor admitted that his initial reaction was driven by concern about how others would perceive him rather than what his child was going through.See More: National Award winnig actor Nana Patekar passes away at 75“My elder son was born with a cleft palate. He also had difficulty seeing through one eye.

The first thought that ran through my mind when I’d see him like this was, ‘What will people think about me, that my son looks like this’. Imagine what a terrible man I am. My first worry was what people would say about me, not him,” he said.Durvasa, whom Nana said he had named after the ‘angriest rishi’, died when he was only two-and-a-half. Looking back at the tragedy, Nana said the child had a profound impact on his life despite his short time with the family.“He died at the age of two-and-a-half, but he taught me so much. He’s the triggering point. It happens…” he said.The actor also recalled how he dealt with the grief in the aftermath of his son’s death, saying that he never allowed himself to remain consumed by it. “I’ve always had a chin-up attitude. I don’t cry. I cry only in the movies, and I do that for money,” he said.However, Nana admitted that the loss affected him deeply and pushed him towards excessive smoking.

He revealed that there was a period when he smoked around 60 cigarettes a day and even smoked while taking a shower.“At that time, I used to smoke about 60 cigarettes a day. I even smoked while bathing. But it’s a very bad thing. No one would sit in my car because of the foul smell. I never drank alcohol much but I smoked a lot,” he recalled.Nana Patekar died after suffering a cardiac arrest at his residence in Goa. His son Malhar confirmed the news to The Indian Express and said, “Yes, the information is true. I am in Pune right now and reaching Goa. I will come up with a detailed statement. He died due to natural reasons.”See More: Nana Patekar passes away: PM Modi hails veteran star's contribution to Hindi and Marathi cinema