I own half of the house my ex and his partner live in: How can I make sure my children inherit my share?

I bought a house with my now ex-husband in 1978 and in the 1990s we separated. 

He stayed in the house, gave me £10,000 pounds for a deposit on a flat and I moved out and bought my own place. We have three adult children.

At the time of the separation we agreed that he would reimburse my share of the family house once his parents died and he could buy me out. They died a few years ago, but he would not buy me out. 

He still lives in the house we bought together, now with his partner.

In 2005 I met my now-husband and I did an online divorce where property was not mentioned.

I don't need my half of the old house financially, but I am very anxious that our three adult children will not get the house once their father passes away.

Is his partner entitled to stay in the house once he dies? I did try to talk to him about changing the house deeds from joint tenants to tenants in common but he wouldn't hear of it.

Jointly owned house: How can you ensure your share is left to your children

I suggested this because at least I could ensure that in time my children would benefit from half the proceeds.

What should I do? I definitely don't want him to have to sell the house but once he is no longer living in it do I have any rights to it and can I then force a sale?

All these years I've filed it under 'too difficult' but I owe it to my three offspring to sort this out amicably.

Tanya Jefferies, of This is Money, replies: If you are the joint owner of the house, you can take action to ensure that ultimately your share is left to your children.

We asked a lawyer to respond to your question and he explains below how you can go about this.

Crucially, he says you don't need your ex-husband's permission to sever the joint tenancy and switch to tenants in common.

Before you do anything else though, it would be sensible to consult a solicitor yourself, to get more detailed personal advice and ask them to act on your behalf.

That would mean communications and negotiations with your husband could be carried out more formally and at arm's length, which is sometimes for the best.

You say that you want things sorted out amicably but if your ex-husband is inclined to argue with you, reject your reasonable requests or disregard you – as your question suggests he has done over the years – it will be harder for him to do this via your lawyer.

The Law Society has a search tool you can use to find a suitable solicitor in your area.

Philip Hunter: If you can, you should come to an agreement out of court

Philip Hunter, a partner at Stowe Family Law, replies: This is a tricky situation, and one that comes with a lot of history and emotions.

The first consideration is the financial claims that you can make against your ex-husband now that you have remarried.

Remarriage significantly limits the claims you can make against your first husband, particularly since you never formally resolved your finances via a court sealed financial consent order.

Unfortunately, this is something we see often and is known as the 're-marriage trap'.

You can’t apply for financial provision or a property adjustment order against your ex-husband.

A property adjustment order is a court order that reallocates property rights, usually for the family home, by way of a transfer of ownership or order for a sale (whether immediately, or in the future) and often is made when parties cannot agree what to do with the house.

What will happen to your share of the house

As you own the house as joint tenants, you each have an equal share.

Further, because you never made a financial order, you will receive the property in its entirety upon your first husband’s death, irrespective of the divorce, any will he may have, or his new partner’s occupation.

Should either of you sever the joint tenancy, resulting in yourself and your first husband holding the property as tenants in common in equal shares, there will be a duty upon his executors to deal with his estate, including his share in the family home.

As matters stand, if you were to pre-decease your first husband, your interest in the property would pass to him.

You said you had tried to talk to your ex-husband about changing the house deeds from joint tenants to tenants in common, but say he wouldn't hear of it.

However, severing the tenancy does not require the other joint tenant’s permission or consent, merely notification.

The most appropriate path for you, provided you currently own the property as joint tenants, would be to sever that joint tenancy, and organise a will with a legal specialist to pass on your share as you intend.

What if you sold the house

You said that you did not wish to sell the house, but should you change your mind then either you would need to come to an agreement with your ex-husband, or the court can order a sale.

This would most likely be part of wider financial remedy proceedings to arrange matrimonial finances.

As mentioned previously, your claims may be limited because you are now remarried, but you can certainly seek to get a court order for a sale.

Ideally, if you can, you should come to an agreement out of court proceedings, through mediation or solicitor-led negotiation. A court can legally seal the decision you make.