ALISON BOSHOFF: Oh Mr Darcy! They've taken the passion out of Pride And Prejudice

It's one of the most famous and sexy scenes in TV history, but there is no repeat of the wet-shirt-at-the-lake moment in the upcoming Netflix version of Pride and Prejudice, which stars Jack Lowden as Mr Darcy and Emma Corrin as Lizzy Bennet.

Indeed, insiders tell me that the six parter, which will launch on December 3, is a 'desperately sexless' take on the Jane Austen novel, with 'zero chemistry' between Lowden, tipped as the next 007, and Corrin, who was captivating as the young Princess Diana in The Crown.

One says: 'Jack can do hot... but in this he just comes across as grumpy. His neckties do him no favours. He has zero chemistry, I'm afraid, with Emma Corrin. It's all desperately sexless – no snogging, no wet shirts. Nothing steamy. There is one touch of hands as she gets into a carriage and that's pretty much it.'

That insider said it compares unfavourably with the 1995 Andrew Davies adaptation starring Colin Firth – who set pulses racing in that dripping shirt – and Jennifer Ehle, which managed to be smash-hit-sexy without being explicit.

Apparently, this version also doesn't convey the wordless longing which Matthew McFadyen was so good at as Darcy in the 2005 film, directed by Joe Wright.

Another insider tells me there's an unfortunate side issue, too: Lowden's wigs in the show make him a dead ringer for actor Simon Pegg. Pegg, 56, is a fine thespian, but probably nobody's idea of a sex symbol. That source thinks the show will do Lowden's prospects of playing Bond no good at all.

Emma Corrin stars as Elizabeth Bennet in Netflix's new adaption of Jane Austen's classic Pride and Prejudice

Jack Lowden plays the iconic Mr Darcy in Netflix's version of Pride and Prejudice though there is no repeat of the wet-shirt-at-the-lake moment

In early publicity, Netflix describe the series, scripted by Dolly Alderton, as a 'faithful adaptation' of the 1813 Jane Austen book.

Emma Corrin called playing Elizabeth 'a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity'. She said: 'Like most people, I fell in love with Elizabeth when I first read Pride and Prejudice in my teens, and have spent the years since navigating situations wondering... well, what would Lizzy do?'

Writer Dolly Alderton said the actors who played the Bennet sisters had a WhatsApp group and Olivia Colman – who plays matriarch Mrs Bennet – arranged for them all to have a weekend away.

Dolly said: 'Olivia is fun, cheeky and mischievous. It's hackneyed to say it, but they really did become like a real little family.'

Incidentally, 2026 is a replay of 1995, when there were TV and film adaptations of Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility. The Working Title film adaptation of Sense and Sensibility comes out next week and I was lucky enough to go to the premiere this week. Esme Creed-Miles is astonishingly good as Marianne Dashwood – a role played by Kate Winslet in 1995.

Diane Morgan has regrets over her choices in hit BBC1 sitcom Ann Droid. 

Morgan, who will be playing robot carer Linda in a forthcoming second series, says: 'I decided not to blink as the robot, and that was such a stupid idea, because obviously when you're outside and the wind's blowing into your eyes, there were tears rolling down my face.' 

Beatty's girl wields an axe

Ella Beatty, the daughter of Warren Beatty and Annette Bening, is playing Lizzie Borden in the Netflix series Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story, which started streaming on Thursday.

Borden was acquitted of the axe murder of her father and stepmother in Massachusetts in 1892.

Ella, 26, says: 'I think people are interested in the 'why?'. How did this person get to this point? I think generally women kill for different reasons than men, and this show is interested in exploring what those reasons are.'

Ella Beatty is playing Lizzie Borden in the Netflix series Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story, which started streaming on Thursday

Nigella Lawson regrets she can't take part in The Celebrity Traitors. Nigella, the new judge on The Great British Bake Off, explains: 'I'm a big fan of Celebrity Traitors, of course, but, unfortunately, filming of it clashes with The Great British Bake Off and that's a very lovely thing in my life now, so the answer would be no.'

Models Suki and Cara are out of tune with pop charts

Models and actresses Suki Waterhouse and Cara Delevingne have been close for more than a decade and even went to their first Glastonbury together. 

Now the 34-year-old pair have launched parallel singing careers with alas, parallel receptions.

Suki's third studio album Loveland, her debut on a major label (Island), charted at No 53 for a week before crashing out of the UK top 100 earlier this summer. She is continuing to tour America, and played Lollapalooza in August.

Models and actresses Suki Waterhouse and Cara Delevingne have been close for more than a decade and now both are having woes cracking into the charts 

Suki Waterhouse performs during 2026 Lollapalooza Festival

Meanwhile, Cara has seen the first three of her singles released by Warners fail to chart – despite extensive promotion. Her album Not Normal comes out next week.

Speaking of British pop acts underwhelming, Cruz Beckham has failed to trouble the charts on either side of the Atlantic with his latest EP, despite having the social media might of his famous parents behind him.

Conflict continues to dog It Ends With Us. Justin Baldoni's best friend and producing partner Jamey Heath has tried to tell his side of the saga – he was a part of the legal action between actress Blake Lively and the film's makers. 

I hear he filmed a full interview with ABC, but it has now been shelved 'by agreement'. Baldoni, meanwhile, still wants to have his say. 

But Lively and husband Ryan Reynolds have shown themselves very willing to reach for lawyers. 

Justin Balsoni and Blake Lively in It Ends With Us 

Clarkson and Co run out of gas

Jeremy Clarkson and his former co-hosts Richard Hammond and James May have officially wound up their joint TV company worth more than £24million.

The petrolheads, who shot to fame and riches on the BBC's Top Gear, closed the door on their TV relationship for good last September after applying for a 'voluntary liquidation' to close down their firm,

W Chump & Sons, they'd set up with producer Andy Wilman.

The company, set up in 2015, had received revenues from their Amazon show The Grand Tour. A liquidators' statement of payments and receipts show their 'asset realisations' totalled a whopping £24,084,088.31.

The staggering amount will have been shared out equally between Jeremy, James, Richard and Andy, who produced their award-winning shows. It means they had an equal pay out of more than £6million each.

The official closure of their company marks the end of an incredible TV partnership that saw them travel all over the world, first with Top Gear and then The Grand Tour.

Former Top Gear and Grand Tour hosts Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond have officially wound up their joint TV company worth more than £24million

Posh profit that's not all it seems

There is good news and bad for Victoria Beckham in the full accounts for her fashion firm, now available at Companies House.

The good news is that the 'uniform' she wore on her hit Netflix 2025 documentary, of a grey 'Tilly' T-shirt (£110) and 1970s style 'Alina' jeans (£395) resulted in a massive sales boost.

Notes to the accounts, which cover the year to December 2025, say: 'The series generated... particularly strong momentum in denim and jersey with unit sales boosted by 48 per cent and 35 per cent respectively.'

Plus, there was indeed an operating profit for the first time – as proudly announced to the Financial Times earlier this month.

She told the newspaper: 'We have all worked hard for a long time for this moment of profitability and growth. We've been very transparent about the problems that we had in the business but have recovered and are now growing at a sensible pace. After 20 years, people don't look at my brand as a celebrity brand any more.'

Victoria Beckham photographered out and about in Paris in June last year 

The holding company – which comprises both the fashion and beauty businesses – made an operating profit of £7.3million in the year to December 2025, a huge improvement from the previous year's figure of a £1.5million loss. The fashion business alone made an operating profit of £1.5 million.

But the full position is that after tax the fashion business actually made a loss of £1.7million. What's more, there was a new loan to the fashion business of £1.5million.

Fashion is indeed booming, but the cost of sales is still sky-high and stands at £17.5million for the fashion business, actually an increase on the previous year. The fashion brand also owes £59million to creditors.

When you include the make-up and beauty brand the figures look better. Victoria Beckham Holdings made an operating profit of £7.3million, and after-tax made a profit of £2.4million.