Why successful people have affairs: psychiatrist
By William Hetherington / Staff writer, with CNA
Success in business does not necessarily translate into success in managing personal relationships, a psychiatrist said yesterday, as Nvidia Corp CEO Jensen Huang’s extramarital affair dominated news headlines.
Huang on Sunday in a letter to Nvidia employees admitted to marital infidelity and issued a public apology to his family.
Professional success does not necessarily indicate maturity in intimate relationships, psychiatrist Yang Tsung-tsai (楊聰財) said, adding that the ability to manage tens of thousands of employees does not mean someone is equally capable of managing their emotions, desires and personal boundaries.
Nvidia Corp CEO Jensen Huang, center left, is swarmed by a crowd of people at Computex Taipei on May 20 last year.
Photo: CNA
Tsai outlined five psychological mechanisms that might help explain why successful men might have extramarital affairs.
The first is a strong drive for achievement.
Some high achievers are motivated by setting ambitious goals, dislike losing to others and are accustomed to taking on seemingly impossible challenges, he said.
These traits can be highly advantageous in business, but when this mindset extends into intimate relationships, people might begin to find familiar and stable relationships less exciting while becoming attracted to new ones that are unfamiliar or challenging, he said.
This does not make high achievers more likely to be unfaithful, but the pursuit of novelty can become a risk factor when it is not kept within appropriate boundaries, he said.
The second factor is a growing sense of entitlement.
People in positions of power might gradually develop the belief that, because they shoulder enormous pressure and have worked so hard, they deserve privileges denied to others, Yang said.
People who spend years surrounded by admirers and do not have anyone willing to offer honest criticism might gradually lose their ability to examine their own behavior, he said.
The third factor is emotional deprivation among successful people.
When someone is constantly viewed as a business leader, decisionmaker or authority figure, people around them might focus more on their status than their emotional needs, he said.
If emotional communication is lacking in a marriage, admiration from others can become particularly appealing, he said.
The fourth factor is the pursuit of novelty and dopamine rewards.
The early stages of a romantic relationship can produce intense emotional excitement, which some people might mistake for genuine love or a deeper emotional connection, he said.
Dopamine is not simply a chemical responsible for happiness, and infidelity cannot be reduced to a loss of control over dopamine, Yang said.
What matters is whether someone can make choices consistent with their long-term values and marital commitments even when faced with temptation, he added.
The fifth factor is psychological compartmentalization, or keeping work, family and romantic relationships separate.
A man might still have feelings for his wife and children while simultaneously pursuing an extramarital relationship, Yang said.
He might convince himself that the affair is a separate matter that will not affect his family, Yang added.
However, loyalty cannot be compartmentalized from a partner’s perspective; once trust in a marriage is damaged, the resulting harm and consequences must be acknowledged, Yang said.
Marital problems might indicate that a relationship needs repair, but the decision to engage in infidelity remains the responsibility of the person who makes that choice, he added.
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