No matter how much we make, it never feels enough. What can we do?

I’m exhausted. I feel like I’ve been pushing hard for years. I’ve worked hard to get to a good place in my career, so I’m earning well. I’ve got two kids and my partner also earns well. But it just seems like a never-ending grind: the “rat race” as some may call it. You get a little ahead, but then expenses increase. No matter how much we make, it never feels like enough. How do we get ahead?

There are two aspects to this: the practical and the mindset. Let’s start with the practical.

Earned income versus investments

Most of us are taught that the key to financial success is: earn more money. So, you go to school, get a job, get a better job, work hard for a promotion: you focus all your financial energies on trying to earn more, believing that when you earn more you’ll finally be able to relax.

But that relief is never long-lived. Before long, you’re back in the same familiar feeling of chasing more money. Your life expands and so, your financial capacity needs to expand too.

Some will tell you to spend less, and others will tell you to earn more. It’s not one or the other – it’s a bit of both, and neither in extreme. You can become obsessed with frugality, but at some point you’ll start wondering if you’re living or just surviving. You can become obsessed with increasing your income, but if it never translates to real wealth, you’ll always be chasing more.

What if growth isn’t something you have to chase, but rather something you get to enjoy?

The financial relief you’re looking for comes from having investments that can grow and make money for you, independently of your ability to work.

This applies to every profession. Many think high-income earners are exempt. Surely, a well-known actor or a successful business owner is exempt. They don’t need to invest because they earn so much, right? Well, if that income is being spent on lifestyle expenses, no matter how much money that person makes, without investments, they will need to continue earning money at that level to keep funding their lifestyle.

So, one key way to stop chasing more money is to build a portfolio of assets that, over time, can fund your lifestyle – independent of your ability to earn an income.

Not enough versus more than enough

Here’s something to think about – is it possible to experience “more than enough” while you are firmly rooted in your belief and experience of “not enough”? Not really.

So, there is your factual reality, and then there is your experience of your reality. Of course, for some, “not enough” is a financial fact. But it is also possible to have a million-dollar net-worth and still experience it as “not enough”. At some point, you don’t just have to change your financial reality, you have to change your experience of it too. That’s an internal game.

If you were my client, I’d get curious about why it feels “not enough”. What would be enough? Where else do you feel “not-enoughness” in your life (because it’s rarely just money; maybe you also feel a shortage of time, energy, connection)? Slowly, you might start to see that this probably isn’t just about money, there’s an underlying pattern of feeling a lack of something.

The goal isn’t just to change your bank balance, it’s to shift your experience of your financial reality out of one that’s perpetually stuck in “not-enoughness”.

Pushing hard versus allowing ease

You might be exhausted because you’re pushing so hard. If you’ve spent years working hard to get ahead, maybe you’ve become used to enduring hardship. But what if it could be less hard?

Often, it’s not the action itself that is hard. Moving money into an investment account and clicking “buy” isn’t hard – what makes it hard is obsessing over whether it’s the right move, what if you lose money, what if the market crashes. Setting up some savings accounts isn’t hard – what makes it hard is second-guessing every purchase, nit-picking every item on your budget.

How we do things impacts our experience, not just the thing itself. Two people can take the same actions and get the same outcome, but have a different experience of the journey. For one, it can feel effortful and hard. For the other, it can feel light, easy, effortless.

So, where might you be making things harder than they need to be? Where can you allow more ease? Where can you do less and still get the same results? (For example, you could check your investments monthly instead of daily, or you could stop nit-picking small expenses.)

If you’re pushing hard from a place of never-enoughness, exhaustion is inevitable. But what if growth isn’t something you have to chase, but rather something you get to enjoy? Now, you’re playing a different game.

Paridhi Jain is a money and mindset coach who combines practical strategies with mindset transformation to help clients create more freedom and fulfilment in wealth, work and life. Find Paridhi at: skilledsmart.com.au

• Advice given in this article is general in nature and is not intended to influence readers’ decisions about investing or financial products. They should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making any financial decisions.

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Paridhi Jain is a money and mindset coach who combines practical strategies with mindset transformation to help clients create more freedom and fulfillment in wealth, work, and life.