Texas Tech has entered the Bottom 10

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  Ryan McGeeOct 28, 2026, 07:00 AM ET

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  • Senior writer for ESPN The Magazine and ESPN.com
  • 2-time Sports Emmy winner
  • 2010, 2014 NMPA Writer of the Year

Inspirational thought of the week:

All our times have come
Here, but now they're gone
Seasons don't fear the Reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun, or the rain
Come on, baby
(Don't fear the Reaper) Baby, take my hand
(Don't fear the Reaper) We'll be able to fly
(Don't fear the Reaper) Baby, I'm your man
La, la, la, la, la

-- "Don't Fear The Reaper," Blue Oyster Cult

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located behind the hedges at Williams Brice Stadium, which used to be a great place to hide but is now as wide open as Jeremiah Smith on a post route, we love Halloween. Even though we grew up attending a church where the youth pastor told us that having a Blue Oyster Cult cassette in our Case Logic tape case on the passenger seat of our Oldsmobile might as well have been riding shotgun in Satan's elevator to Hades.

When a college football Saturday lands right smack on top of the scariest day on the calendar, it always sends a little extra chill up the spine pads of those who coach and play the games. Well, most of them, anyway. For longtime frequent residents of the 10-story Tower of Terror that is the Bottom 10, the sensation of a sudden drop that makes you feel like your toes have landed in your tonsils is no E-Ticket ride. It's a way of life. Over and over again.

So, it's been especially fun for us here to watch those who have spent most of their college football lives in the hoity toity Top 25 spend the past two weeks bouncing up and down and hanging on for dear life while Rod Serling laughs at them, and so do we.

You can hear our Bottom 10'ers cutting loose with a maniacal laugh of their own as they quote a guy from a movie based around another holiday, also about thrills and chills and falling lifts inside a tall building.

"Welcome to the party, pal!"

With apologies to former Navy D-lineman Tom Poulter, former Arizona QB Jim Geist and Steve Harvey, here's the 2026 post-Week 8/pre-Halloween Bottom 10 rankings.

1. Northern Ill-ugh-noise (0-7)

The Pillow Fight of the Week between natural regional and conference rivals Northern Illinois and Hawaii wasn't so much a pillow fight as it was like when Bussetta tried to smother Hyman Roth in a Cuban hospital. The Warriors, who had one victory all season, won 56-21.

2. Sackreminto State (1-7)

Remember last week when I was being all careful not to place the names of two teams too close together so as to not be anatomically offensive? Well, looking over my social media timelines as Sac State fell to Ball State 34-17, I was the only one worried about HR calling.

3. UTEPid (1-6)

The Minors failed to cover the spread against the Fightin' Byes of Open Date U, and after a Halloween trip to Fargo (be sure to avoid all woodchippers), UTEP welcomes Huh-why-yuh for the second act of the three-act Mountain West tragedy that is Northern Illinois vs. Hawaii, Hawaii vs. UTEP and ultimately the season finale one month from now of UTEP vs. Northern Illinois.

4. Akronmonious (1-7)

Akron had the lead over Waiting Listers State of Kent ... then went down 21-17 ... then went for it on fourth down from its own 21 ... and ZIP! Kent scored ... then Akron fumbled the ensuing kickoff ... and ZIP! Kent scored again. And ZIP! Akron lost 35-20.

5. Texas Tech Landmen (6-1)

We requested Taylor Sheridan to write this week's Coveted Fifth Spot, but we can't afford him. So ... the scene: EXTERIOR: LUBBOCK, A HILL OVERLOOKING THE TEXAS TECH PRACTICE FIELD. XCU Billy Bob Thornton's weathered face looks into a sweltering sunset, and as he listens to whistles and smacking shoulder pads, he says to Sam Elliott, "Daddy, that there's the best bleepity bleeping football team bleeping oil money can motherbleeping buy." Then Thornton takes a drag off a Marlboro Red and throws the butt of the cigarette onto the ground not realizing its soaked in crude and he's just set everything on fire.

6. Minute Rice (1-7)

CUT TO: EXTERIOR: TOP ROW OF RICE STADIUM, XCU BETH DUTTON AND RIP LOOK AWAY FROM RICE PRACTICE, DISTRACTED BY A TOWERING PILLAR OF SMOKE IN THE FAR DISTANCE. Beth guzzles an amber liquid and says to Rip: "Honey, I'm afraid these bleeping Owls have flown the bleeping coop. Hey, what's that smoke?" Rip: "Darling, I think Coach Gary Gaines just burned down Lubbock."

7. Sam Houston We Have a Problem (1-6)

CUT TO: EXTERIOR: STATUE OF SAM HOUSTON, KEVIN COSTNER AND HARRISON FORD TRY TO OUTSQUINT EACH OTHER AS THEY SEE THE SAME SMOKE. Costner: "I think Houston is on fire." Ford: "That's Lubbock. We're in Houston." Costner: "No, we're not in Texas. Houston is named for Sam Houston, but Sam Houston is from here." Ford: "Where is here?" Costner: "Huntsville?" Ford: "Alabama?" Costner: "No, that's where they make the rockets." CUT TO: Tom Hanks: "Houston, we have a problem."

8. Kennesaw Mountain Landis State (1-6)

Kenne-Saw slashes into Murfreesboro for a Thursday night showdown with the Artists Formerly Known as Muddled Tennessee. I am assuming this is to keep Saturday night open for trick or treating. So, if you answer your door and a bunch of linemen dressed as Owls and/or Blue Raiders, a heads up: You'd better have full-size candy bars at the ready.

9. ULM (pronounced "Uhlm") (1-6)

Ulm ... they won! And ulm, Southern Missed also won! So, ulm, this won't really be the Hulmoween Pillow Fight of the Week we, ulm, thought we'd have. So, take the pillowcases, cut a bunch of holes in them and go to the game as Charlie Brown.

10. Temple of Doom (2-5)

Speaking of All Hallows Ever, how about this spooky: The Other Other Owls will fly to East Carolina to fight a bunch of Pirates as a nearly full moon rises over them in the second half. And if you've watched Temple or ECU this year, then you know the second half is when their real horror shows always begin.

Waiting List: Mizzou State, Charlotte 1-and-6'ers, Boiling Green, Baller State, Southern Missed, Huh-Why-Yuh, Warshington State, the race to the bottom of the B1G, penalty flags popping like confetti cannons.