El Jalapeño: Mexico is only good for ‘tamales and tomatoes’ … and keeping the entire US economy functioning on a daily basis

All stories in El Jalapeño are satire and not real news. Check out the original article here.

MEXICO CITY — After U.S. President Donald Trump said Mexico was only good for “tamales and tomatoes” last week, senior Mexican trade representatives held a press briefing Monday morning to clarify that while fresh tomatoes and steamed tamales are indeed foundational pillars of the national economy, Mexico also happens to provide the industrial, technological and automotive machinery that keeps the entire United States economy functioning on a daily basis.

The statement came after remarks from Trump suggested the United States could comfortably eliminate trade with its southern neighbor, omitting the fact that Mexico is the number one trade partner for the U.S.

“We want to reassure our northern neighbors that while our tamales remain world-class, our exports also include the computer servers powering their artificial intelligence, the advanced medical devices in their hospitals and the heavy auto parts keeping their assembly lines moving,” said Deputy Secretary of Trade Logistics Mateo Morales, presenting a series of charts detailing the US $60 billion in goods exported to the U.S. in July alone. “It turns out the nation feeding you lunch is also building the vehicle you drive to work.”

Morales emphasized that as the top trading partner of the U.S., Mexico’s commercial footprint extends well beyond agricultural goods, encompassing complex manufacturing networks that link factories from Monterrey to Detroit.

“If the flow of goods were to stop tomorrow, the issue would not merely be a shortage of menu items,” Morales noted. “It would be the immediate realization that half the light trucks on American highways were missing their transmissions.”

Trade officials concluded the conference by assuring consumers on both sides of the border that supply chains remain fully operational, confirming that shipments of high-tech machinery, auto components and fresh produce will continue shipping north on schedule.

Check out our Jalapeño archive here.

Got an idea for a Jalapeño article? Email us with your suggestions!