DWTS season 35 recap: A family—even the annoying cousin with a bad haircut!

I’m about to type a phrase that I hate more than any other sentence in the English language. It is so abhorrent, so commandeered by corporations that it has lost all meaning. Its literal essence is that of an evil billionaire trying to pretend that everything is okay with them paying you under minimum wage and taking away all your benefits.

Readers: I love that this season is like a family.

Don’t worry, I groaned while typing it, but it’s true. From the Dancing with the Stars sky box’s palpable energy all the way to the judges really exceeding in their constructive critiques, the series wants everyone to succeed.

Take this week’s rather shocking elimination: Taylor and Britt were sent home after a totally passable foxtrot.

The moment the couple was announced, Britt turned to Taylor and profusely apologized. After the couple’s farewell interview, my beloved Ezra ran up to Britt, looked her dead in the eyes and asked “Are you okay?” (This, mind you, is the first thing he does after every elimination. Checks in on the pro as the goodbye hugs commence.)

All of these moments of kindness happened after really exceptional notes from the judges. Carrie Ann realized that the key to real growth with Taylor is through an engaged core whilst moving across the floor. That’s a great note! Derek was still able to exclaim that it’s his best dance yet.

Not to be one of the last individuals who grew up on classic TV reruns, but ya take the good, ya take the bad! The comments were all based on genuine care for the contestants.

Elsewhere, Amber Glenn accidentally smacked the hell out of Pasha in rehearsals and you would’ve thought she ran over a turtle with her car. She was devastated she inflicted pain on another human being, but still treated the audience to a stellar foxtrot that scored a 24. She cares!

Tatyana and Jan continued their upward trajectory after the premiere episode’s fumble, with a quickstep that truly moved across the ballroom. Derek, in fact, highlighted Jan’s choreography and the way the dance traveled (which is not always a guarantee in the DWTS mirrorball bubble) and how Tatyana keeps growing and showing. She cares!

In fact, even when the critiques needed to be harsher, everyone in the audience even agreed. We, as a collective Dancing with the Stars family, know when the need to deliver bad news is essential to a pair’s continued success.

Wannabe Glen Powell cosplayer Jackson Olson danced a paso doble that was matador by way of Pee-wee’s Playhouse. It felt incorrect and the judges made sure to eloquently, yet sternly comment on it. 

Carrie Ann’s succinct (and well said) critique laid out that he tends to dance on top of the music, never along with the music, leading to some weird sync issues that come across as a lag in his performance. Yet no one in the audience booed. We all want to see our family succeed, even the annoying cousin who only shows up to the holiday party, but never “remembers” to bring a white elephant gift. 

Of course, the storylines are becoming stronger with each passing episode:

• Jenna and Harry are both great dancers, but something feels off. Harry tied at the top of the leaderboard this week, but why does this trained hip-hop professional dance on this show like he lost a bet? Jenna had a fumble that affected her scores; meanwhile, Val is so not present this season that he looks ready to be Old Yeller’d out back.
• Speaking of, Guillermo’s continuation in the competition has Witney ready to pull the trigger on their partnership. She’s tired and deserves to rest whilst pregnant, good god.
• Ezra remains a stand-out, while Daniella remains the queen of delivering a reliably gorgeous foxtrot on the fourth episode of a season.

Yet, all these storylines stem from family. Inherently, it’s a show about wanting everyone to succeed. It’s telling when the fourth out hurts this much.

From here on out, each week will be hard come elimination time. Every couple will look defeated. Every other person in the ballroom will feel the emotions just as strongly. Yet, isn’t that what family is all about? 

Oh, and calling out when someone has a bad haircut…JACKSON!

Some stray sequins:

• For a show reveling in the Gen Z audience tuning in every week…who the hell thought yacht rock was the way to go?
• Why are we getting minute-long pre-taped cold opens that reek of the oft forgotten results nights’ worst bits. They hurt my soul! Give me a larger opening number!
• Speaking of: troupe member Carter in a sailor hat is doing something for me?
• Can’t stress enough how killer the judges have been the past two weeks. Their worst “hamming it up” qualities have been pushed to the side, so when they are actually excited it feels genuine. 10s across the board from me!
• I have said it once and I’ll say it again: Julia Stiles is truly taking the same journey as Elaine from last season. She will conquer the ballroom!
• Jan is happy this season and that brings me immense joy.
• Ezra Sosa. My sweet baby bean. Just know, you might be nominated for People’ Sexiest Dancer, but you’re not a nominee to me. You’re number one. You’re the only one.

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