Fulham v Chelsea: Premier League – live

Good evening and welcome to live coverage of Fulham v Chelsea at Craven Cottage. A west London derby, involving the last two managers of Real Madrid, should a solid entertainment option, especially as the alternatives on UK television include Street Cops: Catching the Yobs, Donnie Swaggart* and a repeat of Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) in which Marty says his grave is being disturbed, and Jeff uncovers a plan to kidnap the heir to a fortune.

Álvaro Arbeloa and Xabi Alonso will surely last longer in SW6 than they did in Madrid, where a P45 was luzzed in their direction after roughly half a season each. Arbeloa’s task is to maintain the mid-table security that Marco Silva brought to Fulham, who have finished between 10th and 13th in the four seasons since they were promoted. If it goes really well, and he’s feeling frisky, Arbeloa might even take Fulham into Europe for the first time since 2011-12.

Qualifying for Europe is the bare minimum for Alonso, especially as Chelsea failed to achieve that last season. For the ninth richest club in the world to finish tenth domestically might be described in some cultures as sub-optimal. But in the short term, the lack of European football could be a blessing in disguise as Alonso tries to stabilise a club that has been all over the show in recent years.

With Alonso in charge, Chelsea have the potential to take a shortcut back towards the top of the Premier League. There’s an argument that, on paper, only Arsenal have a stronger squad. It’s time to see whether they are worth a damn on the pitch.

Kick off 8pm.

* Alas, this isn’t a mash-up of Donnie Darko, Sweeney Todd and Taggart.