For a good conversation, not just pink noise

After analysing more than 1,000 conversations, including exchanges between strangers, friends and speed-dating participants, they have found that the most satisfying ones followed a pattern of ebb and flow.

There must be listening, curiosity, a drink or two, if the occasion calls for it; and no compulsion to fill every silence.

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2 min readNov 13, 2026 06:15 AM IST First published on: Nov 13, 2026 at 06:15 AM IST

The fine art of a good conversation, it seems, is a skill only a few are in possession of. Or, as Oscar Wilde had put it, “Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” A good conversation begins with the ability to make exchanges feel effortless, especially when some can turn it into an endurance test, and the dexterity to know when to stay with a thought and when to let it wander. It needs a little structure, a little spontaneity and, above all, room to breathe.

Researchers at Dartmouth College, US, have termed this pink noise. After analysing more than 1,000 conversations, including exchanges between strangers, friends and speed-dating participants, they have found that the most satisfying ones followed a pattern of ebb and flow. Pink noise describes the sweet spot between two extremes: White noise, where thoughts scatter without much connection, and red/brown noise, where the conversation goes round in circles. The ideal exchange moves between the familiar and the unexpected. People settle into a subject, build on each other’s thoughts, introduce new ideas before finding common ground again. This rhythm was associated with greater enjoyment, a stronger sense of connection.

And yet, no scientific paper can quite prescribe the ingredients of a memorable conversation. For that, a few old-fashioned essentials still hold their own. There must be listening, curiosity, a drink or two, if the occasion calls for it; and no compulsion to fill every silence. Sprinkle in some disagreement, a dose of laughter, and one has what can be termed as a cracker of a chinwag.