The three-week wisteria bloom that sparked a feud between grieving families and Melbourne influencers

On a quiet hillside below a mud-brick artists’ colony in Melbourne’s north-east, a thick line of eucalypts and a wisteria conceal a sanctuary for grieving families.

Away from the ticketing and tours of the neighbouring Montsalvat, mourners come to Eltham Cemetery seeking solace and quiet reflection. Some bring their families, children giggling and playing as loved ones remember those who have passed.

As a girl, now-general manager Julia Drew and her sister grew up here, walking the grounds. Their mother, Rita Woolley, was still secretary manager in 2013 when they planted the wisteria, which blooms every September.

In the years since, it has comforted families who walk under its great arched plumes of violet and lavender.

But this is the first year it’s brought in a hoard of camera-wielding content creators.

“Eltham Cemetery is a serene and naturally beautiful public space, but first and foremost it is an active cemetery — a place of remembrance, reflection and honouring life,” Drew said.

“Unfortunately, the significant increase in visitation has, in some instances, caused disruption and distress for families visiting loved ones.

“We understand the interest in the wisteria and why people want to come and experience it; however, I am disappointed that this interest has impacted those who are at the cemetery to remember and honour someone they love.”

Drew has since had to put up signage at the cemetery, warning against using gravesites and memorials as “props or supports” after social media users descended, compelled by online clips of the creeper.

“Give families privacy and space – do not block access or ask cemetery visitors to photograph or film you,” the signage reads.

“Please limit the time spent filming or photographing.”

Over the past fortnight, hundreds of people have come to see the plant, choking car parks inside and near the cemetery. Last week, staff were forced to direct traffic to prioritise people attending burials.

One woman, who visits her husband’s grave at the cemetery almost daily, was quietly grieving surrounded by families who she said paid little attention to their children yelling and running over graves.

The wisteria is draped over an archway above grave sites and ashes interments, directly in front of her husband’s plot, the woman’s daughter said.

“At one point, Mum was sitting quietly on the bench in front of Dad’s grave, and a man was taking photos of her and his wife, who was posing for photos – all the while standing on people’s graves,” said the woman’s daughter, who asked not to be named to protect their family’s privacy.

“My mum was really upset by it. She understands it’s a public place and anyone can go, but Sunday [September 27] was just too much.”

Another woman, Leanne, said she visited the cemetery with her husband on September 27, and laid flowers at a family member’s grave to mark the anniversary of their death.

She’s not averse to crowds, the changing nature of cemeteries becoming community-friendly spaces, and people taking photos of the wisteria (as she did). And she’s certainly not averse to children, she stressed.

However, when she saw a man wheeling in camera equipment, and another filming himself in front of the wisteria and graves with a tripod and a ring light, she thought it “out of hand”.

“I actually said to him, ‘You do realise this is the final resting place of someone’, and he just ignored me,” said Leanne, who asked for her surname not to be published, also to protect her family’s privacy.

“It was just that it was a bit of a circus in the cemetery.”

Leanne said there were at least 50 people at the cemetery to see the wisteria when she visited. She suspected people preferred to see the plant for free on public land, rather than pay the $15 entry to Montsalvat to see the artist community’s own creeper.

It brought her some relief to know the wisteria is only in bloom for three weeks of the year.

By late this week, Drew said it was already hanging lower, and its flowers had dulled. Fewer people were showing up to take photos and videos of the plant. And, after arguments on social media, some videos have since been deleted.

But while wisteria season is dying down, the general manager is already plotting how to avoid the same disruption to mourners next year.

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