Amazing Race 39: ‘get them while they’re down’

After the first Detour challenge in Laos, Phil Keoghan told us that Amazing Race 39 “teams will be surprised to find a second one here in Laos.” Teams and me, Phil!

This was the fourth episode in a row in which the race had a social element: two Driver’s Seats, then an Intersection, followed by a Live Double U-Turn, and now a regular ol’ Double U-Turn.

“Sucks the soul out of you,” Joanna said about this seeing the latest U-Turn. And out of The Amazing Race, I’d say.

I hadn’t watched this episode before I recorded this week’s episode of my podcast: “TAR twists: Why Amazing Race doesn’t need a social game”—though I did see the image of Phil Keoghan next to a U-Turn sign so I knew a U-Turn was coming, and maybe more.

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But I can say with certainty now that this is too many in a row. And as much as I’m over Matt and Michelle, whose competitiveness turned into flashes of ugliness, I wanted them to defeat themselves.

And they maybe did? They were the last team to start the Detour, thanks to taking a detour in their walk, which took them so far away they may reached Thailand.

“Let’s get them while they’re down,” Erin said, as they U-Turned Matt and Michelle. That is, of course, smart strategy. And while the producers planned all these without knowing two teams would be dominating the race, that possibility means none of this is surprising.

Of course someone’s going to U-Turn the team that keeps placing first—and the team that keeps placing second! So it’s not all that surprising.

Detour ► Most of the episode’s time was spent on the first detour tasks—and finding them!

Teams had a choice of Taste or Waste. Taste was buying 11 ingredients from a vibrant market to make larg. Those ingredients included cilantro, fresh fish sauce, and toasted rice flour, and made me hungry. Mmm flour. Then they had to make larb using a recipe.

Michelle and Matt were going to attempt this even though 1) they couldn’t find it and 2) Matt said, “I’m not Gordon Ramsay at all.” I mean, putting two pieces of bread on Dylan’s head and calling him “an idiot sandwich” before slapping Doug’s face with the bread and screaming “DISGUSTING!” was a little Gordon Ramsay?

Only Anuar and Andrea attempted the cooking tasks (well, until the U-Turn). I felt bad for Andrea when people laughed at her pronunciations, because she was trying and using what was on the clue. Then again, I’d probably laugh too if I understood Laotian.

They chose this task despite Andrea saying “I’m a terrible cook.” Then came a twist bigger than the U-Turn:

“I’ve given a couple people food poisoning. … I gave the whole fire department one time. I’ve given my mom food positioning, all my friends. I’ve given myself food poisoning.”

So it’s more like Andrea poisoning? Ha! She may make people sick with her food, but was kind to Daisha and Dalton and gave them their list of ingredients after they were U-Turned.

Meanwhile, the other teams all attempted a crate carry-and-stack task that was kinda similar to stack boxes and carry them task.

They were gathering 15 crates of beer bottles from Beerlao, which reuses the bottles 14 times, and then stacking 75 crates in a truck.

Reusing bottles is cool, but did you see those crates? The way they interlocked? I mean, of course you did if you watched, especially since Daisha and Dalton had to unstack theirs after not interlocking them at all.

Anyway, I am just marveling at the design. Incredible—and just waiting to be an Amazing Race challenge. If I was the producer who discovered that, I would have screamed.

This is where it seemed like teams were starting to let their cracks show. Riley kept yelling at her mom: “We just can’t break any, Mom!” No kidding? Then: “Pay attention.” “I need you to tell me what to do.” Pick one!

And we haven’t ever seen Matt and Michelle be this lost. “Do you think it’s far from here?” Michelle asked when they got lost looking for the second task, and Matt answered, “I have no idea.” Maybe: Ask someone? Look at your clue? They ended up finding the cooking task right as Andrea and Anuar were leaving, and the chef/judge was blowing chunks everywhere. Andrea strikes again!

Random task ► Teams had to learn and then perform a Muay Lao routine. They almost all did it with no trouble and the episode kinda sped right past this, other than to give us some cool punch/kick shots.

Because I don’t have anything else to say here I’ll drop in what Erin shared about having kids with Javi and raising then in Ft. Lauderdale.

“I just want to start a family feeling comfortable and not scared,” Erin said. Wait, here in Florida? Where 62 percent of voters just defunded the police via an amendment Republicans proposed—and will bankrupt some counties and cut $12 billion from local community budgets? Good luck with feeling comfortable and secure here!

Roadblock ► Count 582 Buddha statues. Holy shit! “Definitely a little overwhelming when you walk up to it,” Javi said, which is almost as big an understatement as him saying, “The most amount of Buddhas I’ve ever seen in my life.” I don’t know where I’ve ever seen five Buddhas, never mind 500.

To help knock Matt and Michelle out, other teams teamed up—but that was after Riley just told Javi the answer.

Pit stop ► Anne Marie and Riley placed first, a first in Amazing Race US history: not only has a mother/daughter team never won the race, they’ve never ever won a leg! Until now..

Javi and Erin came in right behind them. Then the other four teams arrived: Conner and Garrett in third, immediately followed by Dalton and Daisha in fourth, Ali and Joanna in fifth, and Anuar and Andrea sixth.

They all worked together at the counting—which only took Michelle three attempts. Dalton and Daisha going from double U-Turn to fourth shows it can be done. But also how much of that was the help they got at the counting task? Had six teams not collaborated in two groups, could Matt and Michelle have pulled ahead?

I’d like to think not—and I hope not—given how much time they wasted looking for the two Detour tasks. They were gracious after being eliminated. “It’s the game. No hard feelings,” Matt said. “I don’t want my wife to be hard on herself.” Aww. And Michelle said, “No regrets.”

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