Kehinde Ajose: Don’t Put Your Identity in Other People’s Hands

An editor at one of the national dailies I once worked for made a humorous remark about the number of things I was doing. I laughed because I understood why it might look that way from the outside. Writer, journalist, broadcaster, podcaster, author and media entrepreneur. Before all of that, I was even a bassist. But to me, they have always been different expressions of the same thing: creativity, communication, media and storytelling.

That is probably why I have spent much of my life resisting labels. Labels can help people quickly understand who we are and what we do, but they can also become boxes. I have never wanted to live inside one.

There was a season when music was almost everything I was doing. I played bass in church and with bands, and that was the world I was immersed in. But I also loved to read, and somewhere in that love for books, I found writing. Words fascinated me. Ideas fascinated me. The ability to take something in your mind and make another person see, feel or understand it fascinated me. That was how my love affair with the media began.

As a student on campus, I published motivational newsletters and a mini magazine. I also wrote for national newspapers while still an undergraduate. After I graduated, journalism became another major chapter of my life. I went fully into the media and became an entertainment journalist, interviewing entertainers, observing careers and telling stories about people in popular culture.

Journalism also taught me that careers are rarely as straight as they appear from the outside. People evolve. Interests change. Industries shift. Sometimes, the person you need to become next looks very different from the person you have been. In journalism, I explored different expressions of the media. I hosted Star Lounge on an online radio station and, years later, co-hosted a business programme on Max FM alongside my friend Kehinde Olagbenjo.

Journalism taught me how to find and tell stories, while broadcasting taught me how to engage an audience through conversation and the spoken word. Today, I host my own podcast, Conversations With Kenni, where I have had conversations with people including Seyi Awolowo, Jide Awobona, Mojisola Adebanjo, GT Da Guitarman, Diva Gold and others. Along the way, I became an author and eventually built a media business of my own.

So when someone asks, “What exactly do you do?” my answer is simple. I create, communicate and tell stories, and I build ideas within the media and creative space. The platforms may change, but the thread has always been there.

Looking back, I do not see the different phases of my life as disconnected. I believe there is a reason for every season. There was a season for music, a season when journalism demanded most of me, a season for broadcasting, and now a season for podcasting, books, media strategy and entrepreneurship.

Not every gift has to be expressed at the same time. Some abilities sit for years before life gives them another expression. Some seasons teach you discipline, introduce you to people who will matter later or give you experiences whose value you only understand years afterwards. That is why I have learned not to despise any phase of my journey. The season may change, but the lessons travel with you.

Sometimes I think life is like a series. You finish one season thinking that is the whole story, only to discover that your life has another season waiting. The things you once thought defined you may no longer be the centre of the story. But it is still your story. You are not starting again from zero. You are entering another season with everything the previous ones taught you.

Perhaps that is what reinvention really is: not throwing away the person you used to be, but carrying the best of that person into who you are becoming next.

Meanwhile, don’t put your identity in other people’s hands. Look at Jesus. Different people encountered Him differently. Some saw a healer, some saw a teacher, some saw a deliverer, and some saw a miracle worker. At one point, He asked His disciples, “Who do men say that I am?”

People often describe you according to the part of you they have encountered. One person knows you as a journalist. Another knows you as a musician. Someone else knows you as a businessperson. Another person may know you only from one season of your life. If you are not careful, you can begin to build your identity around their limited view of you.

Someone can call you a writer and be right, but that does not mean writing is all you are capable of. Someone can call you a journalist and be right, but that does not mean journalism is the final expression of your life. Other people’s descriptions may explain a part of you. They should never become the boundary of you.

Reinventing yourself does not mean rejecting everything that came before. I am not less of a writer because I became a broadcaster. I am not less of a journalist because I became an author. I am not less creative because I became an entrepreneur. The mistake would have been believing that because I started somewhere, I was obligated to remain there forever. Life keeps moving. We should be allowed to move with it.

This is not an argument for chasing everything. Focus matters. Mastery matters. Commitment matters. But focus should not become fear. You can honour who you have been without refusing who you are becoming.