The Great British Baking Show is in the hands of the fans

“This is going to be amazing, Noel,” Alison Hammond said to her Great British Baking Show co-host, who looked at the bakers and their family members and replied, “this is going to be carnage.”

It was not carnage, but I agreed with Shannon: “Not a fan of audience choice week. Sorry, audience!” She said that before she was sent home, though it was not a misguided challenge that did it, but her approach. A gingerbread cookie with piped frosting is not a showstopper.

Bake-Off’s producers did not give viewers poorly worded multiple-choice questions, like Survivor 50: In the Hands of the Fans did. Instead, it was an open-ended call which admitted “The challenge ideas will be further developed by the Bake Off team and judges, and Love reserves the right to determine all challenge parameters and rules.”

So, what we got was ultimately designed by producers. And while it was an improvement over Paul Hollywood Knows Tack-Ohs Week, I don’t need to see any of these challenges return, ever.

Signature challenge ► A baked cheesecake which Nigella said was “overwhelmingly” the audience choice. And the twist was that it had to be inspired by a family-favorite—and created with a loved one, who joined in the tent.

If only they’d added a second person for a challenge that actually required two people. The swans Gary’s sister produced were incredible! But entirely decorative.

That said, I thoroughly enjoyed a lot of the interaction and anecdotes. A few highlights:

• Shannon made a “Naughty Bailey,” named after their naughty family dog, Bailey, who had a fondness for Baileys, the alcohol, not other dogs named Bailey. After drinking some at Christmas, “she’s absolutely fine; do not worry,” Shannon said, adding, “she actually died now, but she had a long life.” Nigella gasped. Shannon, you need to work on your storytelling.
• When Molly’s husband Ash met her mother, he did the most charming thing. Her mother baked a cheesecake, it fell on the floor, and Ash got a spoon and ate it from the floor. I need to work on my storytelling because he told it better.
• Connie met her husband Myke when he asked for a dance, she declined, and he said, “I’m asking you for a dance, I’m not asking you to marry me.”
• Moyin’s mom said he was “cheeky,” so he called her a “schemer.” She told him, “Moyin, you’re not supposed to be saying that!”
• Clara and Kieran said they’re moving to Georgia, which I assumed was the European country, cradle of wine making, but it’s actually Georgia in the USA, cradle of idiocy.
• Gabe introduced his partner as part of “our little throuple boy band—a lot of people call it a throuple, we call it a boy band.”
  • By the way, Gabe’s relationship seems to be freaking some people out, so I tried to console them.

For his cheesecake, Moyin got a handshake and a “flawless” from Paul Hollywood—and nothing from Nigella, who is already my favorite judge but really needs to introduce her own handshake.

Technical challenge ► “The audience wanted you to moon walk out of here,” Noel said to the judges” as they left, and Nigella turned and said, “Well, they can’t have everything.”

Alas, the audience/producers chose a terrible technical that violates the spirit of the thing: a (very cute gingham-curtained!) cabinet of ingredients, from which they needed to make something.

What I love best about the technical is seeing each baker’s attempt at the same thing. Whether they’re given a visual, like in the first episode, or no instructions but just a classic they should know, we get to see the variations.

But giving them no direction meant that the judges were having to compare 11 different things, just like in the first and third challenges, making this a challenge about improvisation, at best.

The results were impressive looking. Mo’s choux came in second and Gabe’s citrust tart first, while Shannon’s loaf was last.

Showstopper ► Rounding out this trio of regrettable challenges was a wearable bake.

I’m disappointed that no one went with Noel’s “choux shoes” or Alison’s offer to “wear a nougat knicker,” though she later modeled a bagel bra.

Instead, nearly all of the bakers interpreted that as: put a cake on a head and call it a hat.

Now, some of them did an excellent job with that: Connie’s wedding hat was gorgeous and was highly praised by the judges, and I’m surprised that didn’t get her Star Baker. And Gary’s knit hat looked incredible, as did Nikki’s sombrero—which impressed Paul Hollywood: Expert on Mexico. Tom’s Dolly Parton-inspired banana wig was also a delight.

The non-hats were mostly twists on hats: Gabe and Yannis made crowns and Molly a baseball cap.

The only three bakers to attempt not-a-hat were Clara and her handbag, which hung from a mannequin’s arm and, in her testing, from her own arm as she took her dog for a walk; and Mo and Shannon, who each made wings. Mo’s wings were cake shoved into wooden boxes with edible paper feathers arranged on the outside, and Shannon’s was a cookie with icing. Eek.

Star baker / leaving the tent ► Clara won; Shannon lost. But the real losers here are the audience members who came up with these ideas and/or the producers who mangled the suggestions into this week’s challenges. Hopefully, we’re back to normal next week.

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