Drew’s reply to Kamu’s sexism on BB28? It needed what Below Deck Med gave Mila

“I don’t really want to be eye-to-eye, having a stare-down with my girl,” Big Brother 28 cast member Kamu said during a group conversation on the live feeds recently. Drew asked, “Why not?”

Kamu, whose job it is to get punched in the brain, could not articulate his reasons. “Yeah, dude, I don’t know,” he said. So Drew asked another way: “You want power over your girl? And feel, like, better than her, or something?”

Drew continued: “I view women as equals.” The bar is so low in the U.S.A. in 2026 that I want to give a standing ovation to a straight white man for saying women and men are equals.

But it didn’t end there. Even though Drew wasn’t making any kind of wild and crazy argument, Drew backed down. “That’s just me, bro,” Drew told Kamu. “But if you view it the other way, that’s fine.”

Well, no, it’s not. It’s not “fine” to think women are beneath you. Perhaps Kamu is still stinging from being beaten by a 57-year-old woman on Big Brother’s most physical challenge?

The context is a key part of this conversation, of course: They’re both playing a game for $750,000, and Drew probably doesn’t want to give human bollard Kamu any reason to turn against him. That’s why on Survivor, people have sat silently rather than risk confrontation. Maybe that’s the most-logical choice in a game. But it’s not the best one.

Drew’s response to Kamu reminded me of Below Deck Mediterranean season three, in which a cast member handled a similar situation perfectly. Season three was peak Below Deck Med: Aesha’s first season, and Joao’s second, when he was more focused on trying to be a bosun so his misogyny mostly fell to the background.

It was also the season that began with chef Mila, who wasn’t overwhelmed by the job, just utterly unfit. She couldn’t even do the simplest things, like cook pancakes from a box. And her plate of nachos haunts me.

On their way to the first group dinner of the charter season, Mila revealed she’s not just a bad cook, but also a bad person. “I just noticed he has a ring in his nose,” she says, revealing that she thinks it says something about a person’s sexuality: “I would have questioned him as well.”

That prompted deckhand Travis—and, to a lesser degree, new stew Aesha—to respond. Here’s how it went down in the van:

Travis: Mila, you’re a classic Russian homophobe.

Mila: A classic Russian homophobe? Ooh la la! Yes we are. Yes we are. I don’t want to see a man kissing a man in front of me.

Deckhand Jack, who’s sitting next to Mila, leans forward to kiss Travis on the cheek, and they laugh.

Travis: I don’t mind it. It gets me going.

Mila: In your home, you guys can do whatever you want. I don’t want my son to be growing up and seeing two men kissing each other…

Aesha: Why?

Mila: …and thinking this is normal.

Aesha: It is normal!

Mila: Because it’s not fucking normal. This is not normal!

Aesha: Oh my god, you’re such a homophobe.

After a cut to the other van, we return to Mila doubling down on saying awful things:

Mila: I love Putin. I am fucking proud of Putin, yes. And I’m very proud of him that he doesn’t let the gay parades happening in our country.

Aesha: What?!

Travis: You should just shut the fuck up.

Mila: Don’t tell me to shut up. I will talk whatever I want to talk to.

Travis: I will get out of this van, and I will never speak to you as a human being ever again.

And then:

Mila: Look at you, it’s like some personal feelings been touched there.

Travis: Maybe I’ve been with men. You don’t know that. Maybe my friends are them.

Mila: Okay, good for them. All I said is I don’t want to see it happening.

Travis: Your opinion on gays shows your opinion on humanity, which is fucking terrible. And I don’t support it.

Mila: Why is a man fucking a man is normal? Why is fucking an animal then is not normal?

Aesha: Because we’re not animals!

Travis: It’s not the same species.

Mila: But how can a man fuck a man?

Travis: You should just be quiet. You should just shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear it. Sit on the opposite end of this table from me, you absolute oxygen thief.

This scene plays slightly differently at the end of episode three and start of episode four, as you can see editors choosing different lines and slightly different arrangement, though none of the meaning changes.

What’s remarkable to me is how Travis doesn’t back down in the way Drew did. While this isn’t a competition environment, it’s a workplace—and a workplace where Travis is not only fed by Mila three times a day, but one where he could face retaliation from others. So there is still risk.

Travis unequivocally says “your opinion … is fucking terrible” and then basically shuns her. People who express such bigoted ideas aren’t worthy of our attention or oxygen.

Quick tangent: I am not holding up Travis as a model. He’s horrible later in the season, especially when he drunkenly slaps Anastasia in the face at another dinner table and she has her eyes closed—one of the few times Colin loses his cool because he’s so horrified.

Later that episode, Mila says, “Travis, I’m sorry my opinion hurt, okay?” And here’s the key part: Travis doesn’t let her off the hook with that terrible apology.

“You didn’t hurt my feelings, but your opinion hurts humanity,” he said. “So that’s my opinion on that. Done. Finished.”

Indeed. That’s the way to deal with bigotry, in life or in life being filmed for a reality TV show. Not to sit back and let it happen, nor to affirm it.

Anastasia later tells us, “to blame that on your culture is just a load of shit,” but in the moment all she does is nod while Mila talks.

Mila later said, “I spoke my mind. Freedom of speech,” not understanding that, either. “I actually have a gay friend” who “doesn’t like when his partner tries to hold his hand in public.” Look at that: She’s so close to a realization! Maybe that’s because he fears other people’s reactions, like yours, Mila?

Was that an opportunity to help her learn? Was shutting her down a good idea? I think so, but I also appreciate what Travis later said on the Below Deck After Show:

“I really feel a bit of embarrassment, to be honest, about my reaction to Mila. I fucking just blew up. I was just fucking pissed off, and that’s not really my way of going about things at all.

I’m embarrassed because there’s way better ways to communicate with people. I didn’t educate her. I didn’t help her to become a better person or fucking more tolerant human. We all could have done better in that situation. We all could have spoken to her better and said, Look, you need to be educated in these areas. We didn’t help, and I didn’t help, and that’s why I feel bad for it.”

Here’s the thing: I do think he helped. His language, however harsh, showed everyone else in that car—and everyone watching, maybe even a queer kid in Russia (do they get Below Deck in Russia?)—that what Mila was saying is not okay.

It’s hard, if not impossible, to change someone’s deeply ingrained ideas, never mind doing that in one conversation. So maybe Travis and Aesha and others could have approached Mila about that in the future, had she, you know, been able to do her job and stuck around.

But when Mila started spitting out noxious ideas like people spit out her food, I think the other yachties made the right call, as did Drew on BB28 (until he didn’t). Don’t let someone spew hatred unchallenged. You never know who’s listening.

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