‘SNL’s Weekend Update Mocks Paramount+, ‘Spider-Man’, ‘The Odyssey’ & ‘Obsession’

Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update was back and focused on the movie business.

Jeremy Culhane returned as Tucker Carlson and he was giving his thoughts on the summer’s slate of blockbusters.

“It’s movie time, let’s find our seats, silence our cell phones and abandon Christian values,” he opened. “Of course, I’m talking about Paw Patrol: The Dino Movie. Let me get this right: Jesus didn’t live at the same time as the dinosaurs but Paw Patrol did? What are we doing? What’s going on?”

Other kids movies in the spotlight were Toy Story 5 and Minions and Monsters.

“It was also a big summer for Minions and Monsters and no I’m not talking about the children’s film, I’m talking about the Trump cabinet. That’s right, I’ve turned on Trump, I’m so brave,” he said.

On the fifth installment of Disney’s Tom Hanks-narrated film, he added, “Let me understand this, you’ve got a friend in me and his name is Woody?”

It wasn’t just the kids slate that took a hit. Culhane’s Carlson also had some words for Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey, Spider-Man: Brand New Day and Obsession.

“The Hollywood cabal shoots its filth with millimeters, or what I like to call it, the gay edge. I like The Odyssey, it’s so nice to see Greek people do something other than make women feel uncomfortable,” he said.

On Tom Holland’s superhero flick, he said, “Everybody Loves Spider-Man: Brand New Gender. Spider-they, Spider-them, uses whatever bathroom it feels like.”

On Curry Barker’s horror movie, he added, “Obsession, the left’s idea of a horror movie is that a woman is forced to love a man. Oh no, help, I’m being chased by a heterosexual relationship.”

All of this came after Weekend Update anchor Michael Che took aim at David Ellison’s Paramount+ and Taylor Sheridan.

“The White House responded to major news networks canceling coverage of President Trump by launching a live stream called Trump TV. But if that’s Trump TV, what the hell is Paramount+?,” joked Che.

The shows on screen? Sheridan’s Yellowstone, prequel 1883, spinoff Dutton Ranch and Sylvester Stallone-led Tulsa King.