This Afghan says Canada is abandoning her in a country where it feels like it's a 'mistake' to be a woman

"They make you feel that it is a mistake to be a woman in Afghanistan." 

Those are the words of a young woman in Kabul describing life in the Afghan capital five years after the chaotic exit of U.S.-led NATO troops made way for the return of Taliban rule in August 2021.

Since then, under the fundamentalist dictates of the self-declared Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan, roughly 22 million women and girls have witnessed what rights they did enjoy stripped away.

"It started with a ban on schools, then going to markets, going to travel, then jobs, universities," said the woman. "[It feels] like you have to get permission to breathe even." 

To protect her from any potential repercussions from this interview or for her previous work for Canadian-funded projects in Afghanistan, I will refer to her as X. 

Over the past five years, the Taliban have issued dozens of edicts aimed at suppressing women.  

They are forbidden from being outside without a male guardian, from holding most jobs and studying beyond primary school. They're not allowed to visit parks or playgrounds or gyms or salons or even raise their voices in public.

A report this summer by UN Women, the UN body dedicated to gender equality, found that half of Afghan women surveyed were only leaving their homes once or twice a month "because of severe restrictions on their movement and access to public spaces." 

"[It's] like you're living at home [and] there are zombies outside," said X. "If we go outside, there are so many people that can attack us. 

"They can arrest us with just not wearing a proper hijab. If I go like this outside, they will not allow me for one second," she said, referring to the light headscarf she was wearing during our video call, her face exposed. 

Pain and disappointment

It is a suffocating reality for all Afghan women, but for X it has an added layer of pain and disappointment. 

Before the Western exodus from Afghanistan, she worked for aid organizations funded by Global Affairs Canada (GAC), implementing Ottawa's Afghanistan objectives, which included the empowerment of women and girls. 

Hers was a public-facing role in the community.  

That work put her at risk when the Taliban took over. The work also meant she was entitled to apply for the Special Immigration Measures Program (SIMs) for Afghans who assisted the government of Canada introduced in July 2021, which she did, along with thousands of others.   

A spokesperson for Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada said Friday that the country has welcomed 65,540 Afghans under all immigration streams, including the SIMs program, since August 2021.

Within those numbers, Canada has approved 16,560 applications out of 20,605 received for the SIMs program, resulting in 16,525 arrivals to Canada, the spokesperson said.

One of the requirements was an endorsement by GAC or the Department of National Defence stating that the individual in question had an "enduring relationship with Canada." 

X was given that endorsement.  

'Full endorsement of GAC'

"I can assure you that your application has been deemed eligible and referred to the relevant authorities at IRCC," a development officer from GAC's Afghanistan program wrote to her.  

"I can personally confirm that your case has been given the full endorsement of GAC."

Despite that, X was never issued an invitation to formally apply to the program from IRCC.  

She was still waiting for that invitation in the fall of 2023 when I first interviewed her remotely for a story about life under the Taliban. 

She had received a reply of receipt to her request for the SIMs program on Aug. 6, 2021, as the Taliban advanced on Kabul. 

A year later, after having enquired to the status of her SIMs application more than once, she received a response telling her that because she had not been issued an invitation to apply by IRCC, her application had been cancelled. 

My own inquiries to GAC over her situation and the system in general went unanswered.

Where did the applications go?

X wasn't alone.  

In 2022, the NDP's immigration critic at the time, MP Jenny Kwan, alleged that the government had lost 2,900 SIMs applications.  

There is also anecdotal evidence of others having their applications disappear into a bureaucratic black hole.  

One retired Canadian colonel seeking to assist local support staff for the Canadian Armed Forces in Afghanistan has said applications were lost or unacknowledged in an overwhelmed IRCC system. 

"I really didn't think that I will have been left behind," X said in our recent conversation. "I had expectations that the government of Canada would have helped me."  

The sense of abandonment adds to the weight she and many other Afghans feel toward the outside world after the collapse of the Western-backed government in Kabul. 

For X, it led to depression, with sleep a symptom of, and a coping mechanism for, that depression.

The shock of seeing her future so abruptly stunted and the value of her past accomplishments erased is still with her. 

"The mental wellness is a joke [in Afghanistan]," she said. "I do not only think about myself. I think about every girl who is staying at home right now." 

A few connections to the outside world

X lives a more privileged life than many Afghans. Her family can afford the internet, which offers at least a window on the outside world. And she has continued to study statistics online.

She lives with elderly parents and a sister but has a married sister living in the U.S. and a brother in Canada who X says assumed she would be able to join him through the SIMs program. 

Her father's poor health has meant he is rarely able to act as guardian or mahram for the women in the household when they need or want to go out. 

WATCH | Oppression of Afghan women only growing 5 years after Taliban takeover:

Oppression of Afghan women only growing 5 years after Taliban takeover

August 14|

Duration 2:22

She cites that as one reason for accepting a marriage proposal, a decision she says she made without any pressure from her parents.  

"I have always considered myself [to be] strong.  

"But when the outside world is cruel to you and they do not accept your existence, and they might even respect an animal rather than a woman … you get this feeling of at least having a man by your side you at least can go somewhere without those fears and you have at least someone to depend on." 

Looking for more security

Some of the most recent Taliban decrees "place husbands in a position of legal authority over their wives and limiting women's ability to seek justice," according to the UN Women report. And they "implicitly permit" child marriage and only criminalize violence against women within a marriage when it results in "severe visible physical injuries."  

X hopes her decision to marry will offer her family more security.

"I was saying OK, at least he will be like a son to this family. Because our brother is not here, he will support us." 

It doesn't mean she has given up on her hope of immigrating to Canada. 

The government of Canada's website says that while all spots for the SIMs program have been filled, existing applications will continue to be processed. 

Whether X's name is among them is anybody's guess. 

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Over the summer, X wrote a letter to Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney and Immigration Minister Lena Metlege Diab.  

"Today, women in Afghanistan are facing severe restrictions, isolation and danger," it said. "Every day feels smaller, darker and more uncertain. For someone like me who believed in education, equality and humanitarian work, the risk is not abstract. It is real and immediate.

"I respectfully ask you to reconsider my case and help ensure that those who served alongside Canadian initiatives are not left behind," she wrote.