Experience: I rate benches

The idea came to me in summer 2019, when I finished studying at Swansea University. One day I went walking with friends around the beautiful Penllergare Valley woods. As they played Poohsticks, I sat on a bench and took in the view.

I noticed that someone had left flowers on the bench. I wondered who had put them there, who they were for, and why they’d chosen this location. By the time we reached the next bench along the route, I was deep in thought about all the people who had sat there before me.

Both benches had beautiful views, and my friends and I started comparing them. I joked that someone should start rating benches of the world. In the following days, I set up an Instagram account called RateThisBench and then posted a handful of reviews of benches near my family home in Bristol, mostly to amuse my friends.

At the end of the summer, I planned to close the account. But my dad, Chris, had become quite invested in it. It became our joint project; after dinner we’d go out for a walk and assess a bench.

I wasn’t interested in growing the account, but the page took off. I suddenly had hundreds of followers – I’m currently at about 27,500.

I decided to devise a proper rating system. I usually post a picture of me sitting on the bench, a brief description of the site, and a mark out of 10. Its mark depends on the location, whether there is an arm and backrest, and the quality of its base. I give extra marks to wooden benches, because I think they’re the nicest, and also for interesting plaques or dedications. My lowest-rated are always ugly metal ones in city centres, with armrests mid-bench. Some are unusual – one had an inbuilt USB charging port – but most are unremarkable. My favourites have a wooden back and a lovely view.

Before long, people started messaging me, asking me to review their favourite benches. I feel a bit bad if I don’t give them a high mark, but it’s just my opinion. One woman asked me to visit one that’s dedicated to her brother, who was also called Sam, and she thought I looked like him. She was thrilled when I posted a picture of me on his bench, even though I don’t think I awarded it a high mark.

My favourite message, however, was from a girl named Sophie. She contacted me when the page was taking off, and reviewed me as a reviewer. She gave me top marks, and it made me laugh. We started chatting; she lived near me and I asked her to dinner. We were three dates in when I saw a great bench and asked her to photograph me on it. She’s been photographing me on benches ever since.

I’ve now reviewed more than 300 benches. Most of them are in the south-west, but I also do reviews whenever I travel. Some people might think it’s a boring hobby, but there’s nothing boring about spending time outdoors and sitting with your own thoughts. I think that’s why so many people want to have a bench dedicated to their memory when they die – they’re a place to take a moment out of our busy lives, appreciate what’s around us and think for a while.

While I’ve sat on a lot of nice benches, I’d never awarded a perfect 10, because there’s always room for improvement. However, in June this year, I gave 10/10 to the bench I sat on after marrying Sophie. I’d previously rated it a 9/10. It’s in a churchyard a short walk from our home in Gloucestershire. We wanted to get married at that church, in part because of the bench – we’ve spent hours sitting there, talking about our dreams for the future. Sitting on the bench alongside my wife for the first time was an amazing moment that merited upgrading the score. Since posting our wedding photos, the vicar has told us they’ve had a surge in wedding bookings.

I briefly contemplated stopping the page after we got married – in a way, it felt as though it had reached a natural conclusion. However, I ended up reviewing a bench on our honeymoon in Mexico and decided to carry on. It’s probably something that will be with me for ever now. Life may be busy, but I don’t ever want to be too busy to enjoy five minutes sitting on a bench.

As told to Heather Main

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