Amazing Race 39 makes history—and I don’t mean that infuriating ending

There are many things broken about Freeform’s version of Project Runway, and one of the most infuriating is its cliffhanger endings. Instead of concluding after an elimination, the show holds most of those for the start of the following episode, which airs one week later.

And for some reason, CBS’ The Amazing Race 39 episode 3 did that, too, at the end of a 90-minute episode that had plenty of time for an elimination.

With Phil Keoghan giving us a “may be eliminated” both this episode and last, I wondered if a non-elimination was on the way. It was worse: an episode without a conclusion.

This is not a model that should be expanded. It should be put into a paper bag and run over with a steamroller.

Netflix most infamously does this with its competitions. Eliminations show up at random times when it releases an entire season at once, while end-of-episode cliffhangers encourage people to roll into the next episode. That generates more watch time and making Netflix even sexier to millionaires and billionaires who want to see more and more growth and more and more money. But I digress.

I love weekly episodes, and don’t mind an occasional double episode. But this episode should have ended not with Jody and Jenn, and Dylan and Doug, searching for Phil, but with the last team learning their fate. If that’s a non-elimination, great! We’ll see the fallout next episode.

But please, dear network executives: Stop this madness now. Embrace your formats and the fundamental unit of television, the episode. There’s no reason to screw with that, or keep chasing the tech bros, just because that already decimated your businesses.

My Amazing Race 39 episode 3 recap

A correction ► I referred to Ali and Joanna as a couple in my episode-two recap. Perhaps it was the stereotype about lesbians, and seeing two in one place for more than five minutes meant they must be a couple who lives together. Perhaps I just heard them talking about their individual partners and anniversaries and wasn’t paying close enough attention.

Thanks to Lala for pointing out my error. I hope I would have figured it out this episode when Joanna referred to her wife as being from Iraq while sitting next to Ali, who is from Virginia.

Roadblock ► After all flying together to Morocco, teams ended up at another needle/haystack/panic challenge. This time, they had to smash rejected jugs that were on their way to being recycled. This was similar to the tomato challenge, except the vases had fake clues in them. “Try again,” ha!

Jenn and Jody were there so long the cats were yawning and Michelle cried out of sympathy when they drove by and saw them.

We learned Jenn’s mom died of pancreatic cancer and Jody dropped everything to be there for her, and they stuck together. Jody may be a great friend, though her “still got plenty of daylight” was not the kind of line that’d motivate me—especially in the heat!

Then Jenn got her ponytail stuck in a tree. And when she finally found one, the vase wouldn’t break. Tough day!

Another twist! ► Randomly placed inside one of the clues was a new twist: Roadside Assistance. Dafina and Saran found it, and that means on a future Roadblock, one of them will be able to help the other. That’s a solid advantage.

I wondered if placing it in the clue meant its existence was an incentive to actually finish the task and not use the Express Pass. But since using the Express Pass gets a team a clue at that challenge, I assume it was up for grabs.

Detour ► Feed camels by rolling massive tires across the desert, filling them with food, and then lead camels to it; or, drive a buggy into the desert, memorize three signs, and then have some tea.

Considering the heat, the sun, and the difficulty, I would have used my Express Pass here, which is what Anuar and Andrea did. Or I would have driven. But probably Express Pass, unless I’d panicked and used my Express Pass to run from the cab to the mat at the previous pit stop.

Both of these seemed tough, and were not my favorite challenges in terms of entertainment. I did love Dafina and Saran’s joy at barreling through the desert in their buggy, and Cody and Jaime wandered around the desert. “I got no idea,” Cody said, looking for a clue. He doesn’t have a clue! Ha!

We got more of their deadpan sibling joking, which is growing on me now that I understand it. And then just some outright shit-talking, like Jaime asking Cody if he slept well, because she did not: Cody snores like “eight bears attacking that piece of ham.”

Fruit-off ► To get a clue, teams had to stack fruit into triangles on a near-vertical surface. The preview of fruit falling wasn’t just one team’s calamity: it was what happened to everyone, constantly.

Ali said, “it was mentally exhausting, but you’ve gotta just keep doing it.” Meanwhile, Ann-Marie and Riley Express Passed their way out of the exhaustion.

At first it looked like a challenge about details, but it was actually an exercise in physics and care, like Jenga. “Don’t panic. Like you’re stacking dominoes,” Doug told his grandson Dylan. When the fruit dominoes fell, he just smiled and said “It’s okay” and then “can’t let this beat us.” Heart emoji.

While Dylan seems the quickest to become a doomsayer (“oh my god, dude!”), he’s relentlessly positive compared to other people who’ve been on TAR. Even as they kept struggling and failing—they were so close and then things collapsed before the check—Dylan said, “I had a really good day with you.” #GrandpaGoals

Which was cuter? ► The kittens in pottery or camels with their mouths full? The camels were cuter than I expected, and looked so happy with all that hay, but I have to go with the cats, because I think circled-up kittens are the cutest form of kitten.

Pit stop history ► Ann-Marie and Riley checked in first—and made history, because a mother-daughter team has never once come in first. In 39 seasons! Holy shit. I didn’t know that was a record waiting to be broken. I knew a mother/daughter had not won a season.

In other fun mat time, Phil asked Cody and Jaime to tell Matt and Michelle, who arrived after them, to tell them their place. Matt asked Cody, “Can you do the eyebrow?” and Cody did a drum roll. I’d be intimidated to lift my eyebrow in front of Phil, too.

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