‘She wanted to go home with me’: The S’pore seniors who keep their peers company

SINGAPORE - It is the highlight of their month: taking a short walk from their active ageing centre to a nearby nursing home, where they spend about an hour playing games and chatting with residents, and sometimes, just keeping them company.

The volunteers, in their 60s to 80s, call themselves “Kindred Hearts”. They had met and became friends at Allkin Active Ageing Centre @ Ang Mo Kio 420, and decided to reach out to other seniors to care for them.

So on the last Friday of every month, the group of about 15 visit Ren Ci @ Ang Mo Kio not as seniors receiving care, but to befriend the nursing home residents, many of whom are their peers.

They arrive with Bingo cards and small prizes like tissue packs bought with their own money. Since 2023, they have kept up the visits, rain or shine.

During festive seasons, they make handicrafts such as bears fashioned from towels for the residents.

The Kindred Hearts are among a growing group of older Singaporeans who are spending their retirement supporting peers in need.

Retiree Sharifah Habibah, 77, remembers one encounter with a resident in her 80s during a visit. The resident had burst into tears as Sharifah was preparing to leave.

“She wanted to go home with me, and told me that her family had not been visiting her,” Sharifah recalled, her voice quivering. “I felt very sad and assured her that I would be back, but I never did see her again.”

The volunteers are assigned to different wards during each visit and often do not meet the same residents again.

Every session ends with mixed emotions for Sharifah.

“I realised how lonely some of them are, and I always feel sad when we leave them behind,” she said. “Our time spent with them is very short, but I understand that they have to rest.”

Some residents have even tried to pass the volunteers their phone numbers, hoping to stay in touch, although they are not allowed to do so, she said.

The first male member among the volunteers is retired truck driver Pang Kiat Hoon.

The 78-year-old quipped: “They all bully me, so I’m happy to hear that another man is joining us.”

This drew a chorus of mock protests from the women around him, insisting that he is, in fact, the group’s most valued member.

His wife, retired hawker Cheong Yoke Keng, 75, had persuaded him to join.

“He was just sleeping and eating every day, so I told him to get out of the house to do something meaningful,” she said with a chuckle.

Volunteerism has long been a part of Cheong’s life.

Years ago, she would give drinks and bread daily to foreign construction workers working in her neighbourhood.

For 72-year-old homemaker Ann Lim, no two visits are quite alike.

Occasionally, disagreements break out among residents, and the volunteers have to calm tempers before steering everyone back to the games.

There were also sweet gestures that made her day.

“One elderly uncle kept saying ‘thank you’ to us, and even sang us a song,” she said. “Some residents have also tried to give us the tissue packs they won as gifts of appreciation, but we cannot accept gifts, of course.”

Conversations with some residents also give her a glimpse of what they miss most.

“One resident asked if we could bring children to perform for them. I think she missed her grandchildren,” she said.

The visits have changed Lim too.

“I have always wanted to volunteer,” she said. “Now I keep fit with daily exercises so that I can help care for other seniors.”

Sharifah, who regularly cooks as part of her active ageing centre’s communal dining programme for seniors, hopes more older Singaporeans will support their peers.

“As Singapore is ageing, we need to take care of each other,” she said. “We can spend some time caring for others even if we are unrelated.”

Chin Soo Fang is senior correspondent at The Straits Times, covering a wide range of topics including community, politics, social issues, consumer, culture and heritage.