Life knocked her off her feet. She came back fighting for other women

THERE are a few things about Faeznur Farok that surprise me. First, she greets me with a wide smile and an instruction: "Call me Benny!"

Benny?

I am still wondering about the unexpected nickname when I realise she is not where I imagined she would be either.

Given that her life revolves around wrestling, grappling, ju-jitsu, Muay Thai and boxing, I had half expected to find her in a gym somewhere, perhaps sitting at the edge of a mat between training sessions.

Instead, the 35-year-old is speaking to me from a sailboat in Langkawi.

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Laughing, she turns her camera around and takes me on a quick tour of the Pia, a 12-metre boat she shares with her husband.

There is a V-shaped berth tucked into the bow, a tiny toilet and shower, a compact kitchen and a living area lined with books.

It is a far cry from her life in Cyberjaya, where her days are filled with athletics, coaching and running a gym. Here, mornings begin with coffee and a book, while the sea stretches outside.

Faeznur spends five to 10 days sailing around Langkawi almost every month, although technology allows her to keep an eye on her coaches, students and gym while she is away.

"My soul is connected with sailing and my love is with reading," she shares when I ask which of her many identities feels closest to the person she really is.

And there are certainly many to choose from.

Faeznur is president of the Selangor Ju-Jitsu Association, treasurer of the Malaysia Wrestling Federation and co-founder of SheFights, which encourages women to learn self-defence and get involved in combat sports.

It is an unlikely collection of worlds — fighter, coach, sports leader, sailor and reader — for a life that was once heading in an entirely different direction.

Her journey into martial arts, in fact, began when she was facing one of the most difficult periods of her life.

BEFORE THE FIGHTER

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Long before martial arts became a defining part of her life, Faeznur was growing up in Johor as the second of four children, three girls and a boy, in a household where doing well in school was taken seriously.

Her mother, a government servant, was particularly strict about her academic performance. Her father, meanwhile, worked as a driving instructor.

"She had high expectations. Number one or number two in class, all As, something like that," she recounts wryly.

"She expected me to become a doctor or engineer. Asian mums, right?"

A science-stream student, Faeznur completed a foundation in engineering before pursuing a Bachelor of Science in remote sensing at Universiti Teknologi Malaysia, studying satellite imagery and mapping.

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But sport had always been part of her life too. She played netball and basketball, trained in Muay Thai at university and qualified as a state-level basketball referee.

And somewhere in the story of her school days, I finally get the answer to the question that has been niggling at me: Why Benny?

At the all-girls Sekolah Tun Fatimah in Johor, Faeznur loved writing essays and short stories, but rarely put her own name on them.

"I used to write a lot when I was younger and I would sign my stories 'Benjamin' because I thought people took men more seriously as writers," she explains.

Her friends shortened Benjamin to Ben and eventually Benny, and the name followed her into adulthood.

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Then she laughs. Apparently, there is another, far less complicated version.

"My basketball coach was Chinese and he couldn't pronounce my Malay name, so he called me Benny too," she adds. "So, yes, there are two versions of the story!"

After university, Faeznur joined a multinational company in a job related to geographic information systems. Corporate life lasted only about a year.

By then, however, the life that had seemed to be falling neatly into place was beginning to come apart.

LEARNING TO GET BACK UP

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Faeznur married at 26 but, as the relationship deteriorated, so too did her emotional well-being. She went through depression and was prescribed medication.

It was during this period that two close friends, both involved in martial arts, persuaded her to join them at a judo club in Kuala Lumpur.

"At first, I had to drag myself there. I really didn't want to do it," she recalls.

"But after about three weeks, training twice a week, I started to feel that I really needed this."

One particular sparring session stayed with her, when a training partner repeatedly swept her off her feet.

"I felt like I had been swept off my feet hundreds of times and I still had to get up," she says.

"That is one of the things I learnt from judo that I could use outside martial arts. No matter how many times I fall, I still need to get back up."

There was something particularly resonant about that lesson for a woman whose own life had been knocked off balance.

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Martial arts also began teaching Faeznur, who admits she had always been hard on herself, that determination did not mean everything could be controlled.

"I used to tell myself, 'I should do this, I have to complete this, I have to manage this against all odds,'" she says.

"But Muay Thai and judo helped me understand that some things are not in our control. We just have to let them be."

Her marriage eventually ended when she was 28. By then, martial arts had given Faeznur an outlet to channel what she was feeling and, slowly, a way to find her footing again.

WHY SHE FIGHTS

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In July 2017, while still navigating her own struggles, Faeznur and two friends launched the first public SheFights programme, teaching women practical self-defence through techniques drawn from different martial arts.

"It is not necessarily about ladies or girls fighting others," she explains.

"They are fighting themselves to be better."

After her divorce in 2018, Faeznur moved to Cyberjaya and began working at HammerFist, teaching women's kickboxing and Muay Thai while training in ju-jitsu herself.

She eventually parted ways with her original SheFights co-founders and rebuilt the initiative in Cyberjaya.

It was also at HammerFist that another chapter of her life began. The gym's Czech owner would eventually become her husband. They married in 2021 and today run the business together.

SheFights now has a dedicated space where women can train with female coaches in privacy, allowing Muslim women who wear the hijab to remove it comfortably while exercising.

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Faeznur remembers one woman who joined after being robbed by two men at her apartment in Cyberjaya.

Although she escaped without serious injuries, the experience left her frightened to go out.

"She came to SheFights and started training," Faeznur says.

"After about a year and a half, she recovered and found her confidence again."

Her involvement in combat sports has also taken her beyond SheFights. As treasurer of the Malaysia Wrestling Federation, Faeznur works on the administrative side of a sport that is still developing in Malaysia.

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But she wanted to understand wrestling from another perspective, too.

That led her to complete the United World Wrestling Level 1 Wrestling Coaching certification.

"I wanted to understand the sport beyond the management side," she explains.

For Faeznur, developing wrestling in Malaysia also means widening the pathway for women and girls.

She hopes to see more of them given opportunities to train and compete, and eventually become coaches themselves.

"There is so much more we can do," she says. "I hope to be part of growing that pathway."

DIFFERENT MEASURE OF SUCCESS

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"My mum asked me, 'Are you sure you want to do this business?'" Faeznur recalls.

"She said it wasn't stable. Maybe one day you have money, maybe one day you don't."

Those concerns became especially real during the Covid-19 pandemic, when the gym was unable to operate normally for about two years.

Faeznur and her husband found other ways of keeping the business going, including corporate programmes and events.

Faeznur later completed a Master's in business administration, adding academic grounding to the practical lessons she learnt from running a gym.

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Yet when she talks about what gives her satisfaction, she returns to the people she has watched change through sport.

"You see the transformation and it's just amazing," she says.

"It gives me purpose to keep going."

Then, a couple of years ago, her mother surprised her with another question she had never expected to hear.

"She asked me, 'Are you happy with your life right now?' That was really strange coming from her," Faeznur recalls.

"It was really touching because I always thought she had these high hopes for me to become a doctor or engineer."

Faeznur knew her answer.

"Of course. I'm very happy with my life right now. I'm very content."

LESSONS FROM THE SEA

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Sailing entered Faeznur's life after she married her husband. In 2021, he asked whether she would consider living on a boat.

"I said, 'Why not? It sounds fun.'"

The couple now sail between Pangkor, Penang and Langkawi, and Faeznur hopes one day to circumnavigate the world.

Earlier this year, sailing brought another unexpected experience when Faeznur had the opportunity to race with Malaysian Olympian Shazrin Latif.

Together, they won the Peninsular Sailing Club National Squib Championship 2026.

Faeznur could hardly pass up the opportunity to ask an Olympian a question.

"I asked her what the secret was to becoming an Olympian," she recalls.

The answer was just two words.

"Have fun."

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Faeznur laughs as she tells me this, but the advice stayed with her.

"It sounds so simple but it actually changed the way I look at sport and life."

For someone who had spent years constantly pushing herself, achieving and carrying responsibilities, those two words offered another way of looking at success.

Sailing reminded her that she could grow and challenge herself while still genuinely enjoying her life.

"I love how similar sailing and combat sports actually are," she says. "Both teach you patience, resilience, problem-solving and how to stay calm when things go wrong."

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The slower rhythm at sea also gives her time for another enduring love. The schoolgirl who once wrote stories as Benjamin may have stopped writing them, but she never stopped reading.

Her tastes have moved from self-development books towards literature, philosophy, history and religion, with Hemingway, Naguib Mahfouz and Albert Camus among her choices.

"I genuinely think women should read more, and not only self-help books," she says.

"Read literature, philosophy, history, religion, anything that makes you curious or challenges the way you think."

Perhaps it is fitting, then, that when I ask what frightens her most, failure barely figures in her answer.

"I don't think I'm afraid of failing," she muses.

"I'm more afraid of reaching a point where I stop growing, stop being curious, or stop having the courage to try things that matter to me."

TOWARDS THE HORIZON

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When I ask what she would tell the 28-year-old Faeznur whose life seemed to be falling apart, she pauses before answering.

"I would tell her that nothing lasts forever. Bad times will pass. Tough times will pass."

Much has changed since then, not least the way Faeznur approaches a life that has rarely followed the course she expected.

These days, she seems less concerned with having every step mapped out and more willing to see where the journey takes her.

"I've been through a lot," she confides. "At any point in our lives, we have to try our best and live life to the fullest."

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Soon enough, Faeznur will return to Cyberjaya, to the mats, her athletes and the life waiting there. But she will return to the sea too.

Perhaps the two worlds are not so different after all. On the mat, she learnt that falling was never the end. At sea, she learnt that when the winds change, you adjust your sails.

And somewhere between the two, Faeznur found the courage to keep moving towards whatever waits beyond the horizon.