Dr Lai: from a struggling childhood to a life in medicine

One hour and 30 minutes. That’s how long Lai Kwan Kew waited for an interview with the chief of oral surgery at Vanderbilt University in Tennessee.

When he finally arrived, he seemed surprised that the young Penangite was still waiting. “I thought you might have left by now,” he told her. Lai had travelled to the university to secure a place in an oral surgery training programme.

He acknowledged that her credentials were better than most applicants, but said he might only consider her if she obtained a medical degree and reapplied. By then, however, the position was already filled by a male classmate.

“I felt that he didn’t value me as a woman,” the mother of three recalled. Rather than continue with her other interviews, she returned to Boston, disappointed by an experience that challenged her ambitions.

Today, the 75-year-old infectious disease specialist, former Harvard Medical School faculty physician and humanitarian doctor has lent her services in crises ranging from the Ebola outbreak to refugee emergencies.

Her latest memoir, “Finding Independence in America”, traces her 17-year journey from international student to naturalised American citizen. It follows her earlier book, “The Girl Who Taught Herself to Fly”, which recounts her childhood in Penang and relocation to the United States.

Lai began writing the sequel after readers repeatedly asked how she had become a doctor.

“‘Finding Independence’ is for all women, to inspire them to go for financial independence, and professions that traditionally are not meant for them,” she said.

Her determination to pursue medicine began much earlier, in George Town, where she grew up in a family of 12 children. Her father retired from government service at around 52, only to lose his pension in a scam. He later became a hawker and ran a food stall to support the family.

“We were struggling every day. We always had to wonder when the food was going to be on the table,” she told FMT Lifestyle. “It was very tough.”

A scholarship helped her complete secondary school, but studying overseas seemed financially impossible. Then, at 14, she was hospitalised at Penang General Hospital with a kidney infection.

During her stay, a female doctor spoke briefly to her about never reading in poor light before closing her book and patting her head. That seemingly small encounter changed how Lai viewed her future.

“That was when I realised that you don’t have to be a man to be a doctor. I saw women being nurses, and she was the only person who walked into my life and showed me that I could be a doctor as a woman,” she said.

The possibility of studying abroad emerged when she learnt from her sister’s friend that American universities offered scholarships. Lai and a classmate spent days researching colleges at the US Information Service library in Penang. She eventually secured a full scholarship, including room and board, at Wellesley College.

She arrived in the United States in 1970, amid anti-war protests and the aftermath of the Kent State shootings. While her parents and teacher worried about her safety, Lai was excited.

“The excitement was more than the fear,” she said. “I thought that was a golden opportunity for me to just spread my wings and go abroad and study.”

The years that followed brought their share of disappointments, including the rejection at Vanderbilt. But Lai says growing older has made her more willing to speak her mind.

Living in the US taught her to value the freedom to express her convictions, while experience has helped her become less concerned with pleasing others.

“I’ve learnt to think about what is good for me, what I wanted to do, and not what people wanted me to do to please them,” she said.

It is a lesson she hopes other women will take to heart. For those certain about the path they wish to pursue, her advice is straightforward: “They should pursue it.”

Find out more about Lai Kwan Kew here, and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

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