Mrunal Thakur’s Pooja Meri Jaan raises an important question: Why do women struggle to say no?

Mrunal Thakur's film Pooja Meri Jaan explores the importance of consent and the idea that no means no. (Image Source: Instagram/mrunalthakur)

Mrunal Thakur, whose film Pooja Meri Jaan released on October 2, opened up about offering to audition for it after listening to its one-line pitch about a trial in which the idea that a woman’s ‘no means no, it does not mean try harder’ is challenged.

“I found out about it via my agent, who said, ‘There’s a film being made which is about two girls fighting this case where ‘no means no, it doesn’t mean try harder’. I was like, ‘I have to be a part of it. Can I meet? So, this is the second time in my life I’ve reached out to a filmmaker; that was Dino. I’m just incredibly happy that he saw that faith, and he saw that I can pull it off,” the actor told PTI in an interview.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to. 

However, no matter how much we repeat the line ‘no means no’, there are women who still hesitate to say the word ‘No’. We asked an expert the reason behind it.

Why most women still hesitate to say ‘No’ in today’s day and age

The inability to say no is often mistaken for a personality trait, something some people are born with. But for a lot of women, this difficulty has more reasons than just temperament, and understanding where it actually comes from is usually the first step toward changing it.

Here are a few reasons, shared by Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (A.M.), Psychotherapist, Life Alchemist, Coach & Healer, Founder & Director, Gateway of Healing, why women struggle with saying no:

Childhood conditioning, fear of judgement, and people-pleasing can make it difficult for women to set boundaries, a psychotherapist explains. (Image Source: Freepik)

• It starts in childhood: Most women grow up absorbing very specific messages about what makes them likeable and easy to be around. Being accommodating, keeping the peace, putting other people’s comfort first – these weren’t just social suggestions, but for many, they were lessons reinforced consistently by family, school, and culture. Saying ‘no’ in those environments often came with a cost: disapproval, conflict, or being labelled difficult. Over time, that lesson stopped being situational and became a part of their identity.
• Fear of how it lands: Women are acutely aware, often from years of lived experience, that assertiveness reads differently on them than it does on men. What comes across as confidence in one context can be received as aggression or attitude in another, and navigating that double standard while trying to hold your own ground is very exhausting. The fear of being misread or penalised for a simple ‘no’ keeps a lot of women saying ‘yes’ long after they’ve stopped meaning it.
• Worth tied to usefulness: When a woman’s sense of value has been built around how helpful, available, and agreeable she is, saying ‘no’ starts to feel like a threat to that identity. It can trigger guilt, anxiety, and a compulsive need to over-explain or soften the refusal until it barely resembles one. The yes isn’t really about the other person anymore, but about managing her own discomfort with the idea of taking up space and having needs that inconvenience someone else.

Learning to say no is less about becoming a different person and more about slowly updating the belief that your worth is tied to your usefulness. A ‘no’ is a complete sentence, and learning to let it be one, without explanation or apology, is one of the more quietly powerful things a woman can do for herself.

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DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.