Don’t mention the football

Lisa Clarke of Watsons Bay is “still waiting to use my high school German (C8) phrase of ‘Football? No. Lemonade? Yes,’ Although I’d much prefer the football.”

“I can sympathise,” says Ned Snow of Lilyfield. “About all that remains of my time in German class at school is ‘Ich kann meine Gummishuhe nicht finden’ – ‘I can’t find my overshoes’. I have to admit it hasn’t been very useful over the many years since.” You’ll get over it.

Marita Lennon of Enfield recalls a hot Christmas Eve in the 1960s, when, “as an 8-year-old, I was sitting in the back of our Holden, parked in a quiet Strathfield street. My mum and Aunt were yacking in the front when I saw the Bee Gees (C8) appear with another Bandstand performer (can’t remember his name). Suddenly, they stopped, sang a long note in harmony, then went up the steps of a terrace and rang the doorbell. Their mum (I assumed) answered the door in her apron and they entered. The screen door was still shut when they broke into Silent Night. My heart soared. Best concert of my life. Superb. It had to be because it stopped my mother chatting mid-sentence.”

For Genevieve Frederiksen of Roseville the encounter was with the other Gibb brother, Andy, performing at lunchtime at Santa Sabina College, Strathfield: “I remember the principal standing at the back with her fingers in her ears. When the bell went, she started filing everyone out, row by row, even though he was still singing. However, I decided to run backstage to procure his autograph because I thought that he was going to be famous like his brothers.”

There’s black humour, and then there’s Vicky Marquis of North Sydney’s mate: “I’ve just spoken to an equally old friend who has been to a tattooist and had DNR tattooed on each arm.”

Jack Dikian of Mosman writes: “AI-induced apocalypse predictions (C8) have become the modern equivalent of the Book of Revelation – with fewer locusts, more GPUs, and a disturbingly detailed timeline for the end of humanity. The only thing missing is an angel blowing a trumpet– although someone has probably already asked ChatGPT to generate one.”

“Are Pauline and her confrères going to put a stop to whale migration, which has been increasing year by year, completely unchecked?” asks John Weir of Bigga. “They have no respect for either borders or visas.”