Dining across the divide: ‘It was futile – we didn’t agree on anything. But we had a nice meal’

Voting record Campaigned for the Lib Dems, but is not eligible to vote in UK general elections

Amuse bouche Ilyan was nine when communism fell in his native Bulgaria. It was a gruesome time of rationing and hyperinflation, but it was also full of opportunity. He built Bulgaria’s first website, and its first advertising agency, in his early 20s

Daniel, 25, London

Occupation Works at a thinktank

Voting record Conservative and, recently, Reform. If Reform professionalise, for example by getting a shadow foreign secretary, he will consider voting for them again

Amuse bouche Daniel was president of his university Conservative association and lived with a communist as an undergrad. They spent all the time they were meant to be studying arguing about grammar schools

For starters

Daniel He was a lovely guy, very amicable. He’d cycled in.

Ilyan I was pleasantly surprised to see such an inquisitive young person.

Daniel I had the cod brandade ravioli with smoked eel, then we both had the guinea fowl. Dessert was a chocolate bombe with honeycomb mousse and ice-cream on top. It was all delicious.

Ilyan I had a fascinating thing with a crispy egg. The place was fantastic.

The big beef

Daniel I think immigration policy in the 80s and 90s was quite sensible, and we should go back to that. I’m talking about net figures – they’ve been too high since 2005, to the extent that integration with British people has been quite difficult. Ilyan has been here since 2009, and he admitted that until he started swimming at the Serpentine, several years later, he didn’t know any British people at all.

Ilyan I come from a country where you couldn’t even move from a town to a city without a permit. I treasure the right to move, whether out of a village or from Bulgaria to London. You’re a happier person, you give more, and the world is better. But that didn’t work on Daniel. He went back to the topic of uncontrolled immigration; he was fixated with Tower Hamlets. I hold Britain as an example of good integration – I know in France they’re not as good, and in Germany they have these Turkish enclaves. I think in this country we do a pretty good job.

Daniel If you go to Tower Hamlets, there’s sectarianism there. It’s no longer diverse. Look, in my extended family, there are rightwing people who voted Reform, there are people who voted Labour, Lib Dem, possibly for the Greens. I don’t know anyone who’s decided to vote for independent Muslim candidates. I don’t have any shared opinions with them, there’s nothing that we have in common.

Ilyan I’ve had Muslim friends who opened a whole new world to me. I was telling him about a friend who took me to Tooting High Street, how it was like going to another country – an incredible experience. I thought that might be a way to challenge his perceptions – but they were all rooted in deeply personal, emotional experiences. He talked about how his wife used to live in a Bangladeshi area and didn’t feel as if she was in Britain. It’s very hard to move an argument so viscerally held.

Sharing plate

Daniel I don’t think Brexit has done massive economic harm, the problem is we haven’t taken advantage of the economic benefits we could have had.

Ilyan He said Boris Johnson was a traitor to the cause – never a real Brexiter. Europe would have been great, according to Daniel, if it didn’t have the free movement of people. But the free movement of people is what makes the EU meaningful.

For afters

Daniel Assisted dying, I would call assisted suicide. It’s been a massive coup by Dignity in Dying to change the lexicon. If there isn’t proper hospice care around the country, surely that choice – either assisted suicide or a difficult death – is a scandal?

Ilyan He just came back to sanctity of life – and in my view, sanctity of life is being able to end it on your own terms. I cannot fathom putting a loved one through suffering and not being able to help them end it. Then we hit a wall; we were just restating our views.

Takeaways

Daniel We both agreed it was good to chat to someone who disagreed.

Ilyan It was futile, but it was a nice meal and we didn’t offend each other.

Additional reporting: Kitty Drake

Daniel and Ilyan ate at Lorne, London SW1.

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