AMANDA PLATELL: The tears were real but Burnham's speech was pure theatre

Opinion on Andy Burnham’s anguish-stricken speech to the Labour conference is sharply divided.

Especially about the way the Prime Minister remembered his beloved father, Roy, who died three weeks ago.

Not a dry eye in the house. When the camera panned to Labour’s frontbenchers, they, like Andy, were all visibly emotional.

As for me, I was in awe. This was a masterclass in political engineering. Pure, perfect theatre.

Of course his grief for his father and the tears that welled up were genuine. But he also knew what he was doing – exploiting the moment, a little distastefully to my mind.

How do I know? Because I coached politicians and business folk on speeches, starting in the late Nineties when I landed a job as spin doctor for then Leader of the Opposition William Hague.

I laughed out loud when Andy’s team briefed the media that he ‘would be speaking not from notes but from the heart, to every postcode in the country, without a lectern’. Don’t be fooled, nothing was spontaneous – even his outfit was calculated. The not-too-crisp open shirt and crumpled trousers sent a message: he was not just another one of those guys in suits.

Andy’s one of the best. But his performance reminded me of a professional coach who advised me on public speaking.

Andy Burnham got teary-eyed when speaking about his father at the Labour conference

‘Appear on the stage with humility. Fumble your words sometimes. Take your glasses off repeatedly.’ (When I said I didn’t wear any, he said ‘go to Specsavers’.)

‘Use a pregnant pause carefully – one minute maximum. You don’t need notes.’

And, above all: ‘Try to speak passionately from your cold, cynically pre-rehearsed little heart.’

My abiding memory of Esther Rantzen was from years ago when I was a young Daily Mail columnist ambling along a North London high street. 

Esther stopped her car and shouted out of her window: ‘Amanda, keep sticking it to them, never give up!’ And with a wave she sped off. 

There will only ever be one Esther. 

Let's hear it fur J-Lo

With a face like thunder as the rain poured down on her, J-Lo sat in the front row of Stella McCartney’s fashion show in Paris and still managed to look glamorous in one of Stella’s faux fur coats made from recycled polyester and corn by-products. Maybe the pout was a sign she was worried her vegan coat might start sprouting.

Although it was heartening to see a snap of her earlier shopping in Paris in a sloppy lace dress. Our goddess was just Jenny from the Block, her 2002 hit single, and human after all.

Jennifer Lopez wore a Stella McCartney faux fur coat made from recycled polyester and corn by-products in Paris

Transfixed by the failed execution of murderer Christa Pike – after two attempts at lethal injection – can I be the only one thinking it is time to remove this barbaric death penalty method, which is still favoured in many American states? 

Before the supposedly fatal dose was administered, Pike said: ‘I’m good now. I’m at peace. I’m going to celebrate my freedom. This is a good day.’ Now she is on life-support, possibly brain-dead and, if not in purgatory, in Hell.

I treasure Mum's rings

Andy Burnham said his grandmother Kitty’s engagement ring was ‘ripped from her finger and stolen while she was in a care home’.

When Mum, who had never been parted from her wedding or engagement rings in 70 years, moved into a care home, I’d regularly take them and have them made smaller to fit her increasingly frail little fingers, so no thief could claim them. They never did. Seven years later I’m wearing them.

My moggie Ted is appalled Tom Cruise plays a deranged oil baron whose cherished companion is an ageing cat called Maggie in new movie Digger – because Maggie’s not a real cat but an animatronic puppet.

Crikey, says Ted, if a real cat was good enough for the evil Blofeld in From Russia With Love in 1963, is it really mission impossible to do the same in 2026?

Tom Cruise, right, plays a deranged oil baron in his new movie, Digger – but his beloved pet Maggie is not a real cat but an animatronic puppet

Rumours abound that Eamonn Holmes won’t be returning to GB News after his stroke. His divorce from Ruth Langsford proceeds in court while he’s comforted by part-time girlfriend Katie Alexander, who friends of Ruth blame for the split. 

Perhaps the only one playing Karma Chameleon on loop is Eamonn’s first wife Gabrielle... 

Cunning of Traitor Richard 

After the first episode of Celebrity Traitors, I can’t believe the blowback against Richard E. Grant, who insiders claim ruined the whole series by declaring he was a traitor in the first six minutes, having been secretly picked as one by our Claudia.

Of course it was a clever double-bluff which diverted attention away from himself and left him free to kill.

Hearing that the hero who took control of the hijacked Flydubai jet learned piloting skills watching Air Crash Investigation made me wonder if my own TV choices might equip me for a disaster. 

I suppose Nigella Lawson’s chocolate Guinness cake might cheer up fellow passengers – even if it has a soggy bottom.

Richard Branson has paid tribute to his late wife Joan with an image of her, resplendent in the red she wore when they first met in 1976, on his new Virgin jet. What a joy to be immortalised like this, in one’s youth, a precious image for eternity.

Eye am sorry for being away!

Apologies for my no-show last week but I was laid up with an injured eye and required surgery just like the accident-prone Sharon from Aussie comedy Kath & Kim. Please, no cruel comments suggesting I’ve always had a blindingly one-eyed view!

Amanda Platell required surgery on her eye last week

Shame of NHS

Ten staff at the East Suffolk and North Essex NHS Foundation Trust are ‘removed from duty or suspended’ with ‘disciplinary action being considered’ after accessing the private medical records of Noah Woods, three, the non-verbal, partially deaf toddler found drowned in a pond.

We’ve already had NHS staff accessing patient records of victims of the 2023 Nottingham and the 2024 Southport attacks. Why are these NHS ghouls not just immediately sacked?

What a terrible betrayal of those women who found the courage to put their serial abusers behind bars. They’ve had to watch as the first 700 prisoners of up to 50,000 walk free thanks to the government’s early release scheme. 

Most haunting was the comment from one woman who learned of her lifelong abuser’s early release and said: ‘It’s not just the fear I dread, it’s the lifelong fear of the fear.’