Football Daily | Another dog’s breakfast over VAR for the new and rebranded Pro Ref

Keys. Phone. Wallet. What day it is. The names of people to whom we’ve just been introduced. Where we parked the car. The shopping list we wrote to remind us what Tin groceries we need. The dog we’re supposed to be walking. Dozens of umbrellas. The name of the hotel we’re staying in. Assorted birthdays. Why we walked into a room. The list of things your scatterbrained Football Daily forgets with alarming frequency is so long that we’re genuinely struggling to remember most of the things that should feature on it. While our absentmindedness tends not to upset anyone other than ourselves or our nearest or dearest, we can’t even begin to imagine the bowel-loosening horror of completely forgetting something so simple and blindingly obvious that it enrages the majority of the 74,161 football fans in attendance while bringing the already snakebelly low reputation of your entire profession into even more disrepute than it was less than 24 hours previously.

And yet that appears to be exactly what happened to Matt Donohue in Stockley Park on Sunday, when he made what can politely be described as a complete dog’s breakfast of his review of the events leading up to the winning goal scored by Erling Haaland for 10-man Manchester City in the derby at United. His goal was immediately disallowed by the officials at Old Trafford for an offside against the Norwegian that seemed fair enough until he was subsequently vindicated by semi-automated offside technology. Our curtain-twitcher-in-chief in the VAR bunker then had to decide whether there was any chance Enzo Fernández might have been interfering with play when he – from an obvious offside position – flung himself full-length at the low cross Haaland subsequently converted, clearly distracting the opposition goalkeeper and one of their defenders in the process.

In the lengthy deliberations that followed, our bungling video assistant referee’s repeated rocking and rolling of the footage suggested he was only trying to establish whether Fernández had made contact with the ball (he hadn’t). With all the distracting babble going on in his headphones, we suspect that in the heat of the moment, he actually forgot the Argentinian didn’t have to touch the ball to have an impact on the situation sufficiently illegal to cancel out a goal that every single person watching – except the only one whose opinion mattered – knew was offside.

Short of the inconceivable notion that neither Donohue nor his assistant in the VAR room actually understand the offside law, there seems to be no other plausible explanation for his gaffe. “Following the incident in the 60th minute of Sunday’s Premier League fixture between Manchester United and Manchester City at Old Trafford, we can provide clarification regarding Erling Haaland’s awarded goal,” droned an unapologetic explanation from Pro Ref that subsequently acknowledged the shocking mistake. “Contact has been made with Manchester United this evening to acknowledge what we deem is an error of judgement. A review of the incident will take place.” It is to be hoped the rebranded body that oversees English refereeing doesn’t forget to conduct its review with considerably more rigour than the omni-shambles of a one it has been convened to examine.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY

“We are heartbroken at his loss, but take huge comfort from the immense support he received from all of you, along with the knowledge that he is now at peace and no longer suffering. Dad simply loved West Ham, and especially hearing his name sung loud and proud at every game. The club, and its fans, were and always will be a part of our family, so thank you all from the bottom of our hearts” – Martin Miklosko, son of former Hammers, QPR and Czech international goalkeeper Ludek, who has died at the age of 64.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

With Sweet FA occurring on the scoring front, if I was one of the ‘experts’ at Spurs – yes, apparently that’s you Messrs Lange and Venkatesham – I would be worried about being asked to do one by the club. ‘All in’ squad investment, aimed at recapturing Tottenham’s spirit of exciting ‘bold football’, that forgets to buy a proper centre forward, at best involves a major oversight. Honestly, Spurs’ front three right now pose about as much threat as a Muttley-SpongeBob-Sylvester the Cat trio” – Chris Brown.

By some way the highlight of the Manchester derby was watching the bemused look on Harry Maguire’s face as he careered around Old Trafford like an out-of-control shopping trolley. Any decision that he didn’t completely agree with was met with an even more exaggerated facial expression” – Myles Flynn.

Each decade brings its own bad boys. The 1970s and 1980s had Schumacher and Maradona. The 1990s gave us Cantona and Keane. The 2000s belonged to Pepe. The 2010s delivered Ramos and Suárez. The 2020s belong to VAR” – Krishna Moorthy.

If you have any, send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Chris Brown, who lands our final copy of The Mbappé Project by Philippe Auclair. Copies are available in the Guardian Bookshop for you unlucky scribes. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here. 

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