Tara Sutaria says being heard as a child gave her ‘so much confidence’

Kids are rarely treated as equals, but that was never the case with Tara Sutaria. The Toxic actor recently opened up about the way her parents raised her.

“My mom and dad kind of always treated my sister and me like we were equals. We were kind of treated like adults when we were kids, and our opinion always mattered,” Sutaria said during a conversation with Pernia Qureshi of Fashionably Pernia.

For Sutaria, being heard at home was not just about getting a say. She believes it helped build her confidence. “I think that gives a child so much confidence,” she said, adding that this equality also shaped her sense of self.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to. 

Sidhharrthh S Kumaar, life coach, NumroVani, finds this parenting approach laudable.

“Speaking to children like adults means giving them the same respect, attention and dignity we expect in our own conversations. Every interaction gradually contributes to a child’s emotional wiring and inner dialogue,” the life coach tells indianexpress.com.

He further adds that when children are heard, encouraged to express opinions and given reasons instead of simply being told “because I said so,” they begin to internalise powerful messages: “my voice matters, my emotions can be expressed, disagreement does not mean rejection, and relationships can feel safe even during conflict.”

In fact, a 2019 study published in the journal Child Development found interesting results on the topic. The researchers analysed several adolescents across Ghana and the U.S. As per the findings, adolescents whose parents acknowledged their perspectives and encouraged them to express themselves reported higher self-worth, greater intrinsic motivation and school engagement, and lower depression.

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That does not mean parents need to agree with everything a child says. In fact, Sutaria said disagreement was a big part of her family dynamic. The actor feels that some families may feel children should not argue “out of respect”. For her, being able to have those conversations openly was something she valued.

“Have a healthy argument like our family loves to agree to disagree and I love that about our family,” said the actor.

Kumar explains that healthy disagreement can give children a chance to learn how to express emotions, listen to another perspective, and communicate without seeing conflict as a threat to the relationship. These are skills that can eventually extend into friendships, workplaces, romantic relationships and parenting.

Being heard does not mean having adult responsibilities

However, the life coach points out a difference between treating a child with adult-like respect and expecting them to function like an adult.

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“There is also a thin line between treating children with adult-like respect and expecting them to function like adults,” he says while adding that “too much freedom, excessive negotiation or involving children in adult problems” can place an “emotional burden” they are not developmentally ready to carry.

“A child should feel heard, but should not become a parent’s confidant, counsellor or decision-maker… Children need the security of knowing that an adult is confidently holding the structure around them. The goal is not to remove authority, but to make authority respectful: listen to their voice while continuing to carry the responsibility that belongs to you.”

For Sutaria, that combination of being heard and being able to disagree openly appears to have been an important part of growing up. As the actor revealed. These experiences can bring “maturity, confidence and a certain – adds to your sense of self.”

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.