‘My marriage ended in 2024’ — Bashir El-Rufai’s ex-wife opens up on divorce, single motherhood

Halima Kazaure, former wife of Bashir El-Rufai, son of ex-Kaduna State Governor Nasir El-Rufai, has opened up about the end of their marriage, revealing that the union ended in 2024 when their twin sons were two years old.

PREMIUM TIMES earlier reported that her ex-husband said she made advances towards him and eventually proposed to him. He said he divorced Halima because he had no time to deal with “Gen Z problems”.

In a deeply personal essay titled “Memoirs of a Single Nigerian Twin Mum with ADHD”, published on her Substack on Wednesday, Ms Kazaure reflected on divorce, single motherhood, heartbreak and the emotional toll of appearing capable while struggling privately.

The lawyer said she had never placed much faith in marriage, attributing her scepticism to the relationships she witnessed growing up.

“I became a single mother when my boys were two. My marriage ended in 2024. The truth is that I had never had much faith in marriage. I didn’t grow up surrounded by enough examples that convinced me men were particularly safe places to put your heart.

“Somewhere inside me, I think I knew my marriage would end before it even began. Imagine entering a marriage already preparing for its funeral,” she wrote.

Fear

She went further, admitting that she entered the marriage with an underlying fear that it would eventually fail.

“Somewhere inside me, I think I knew my marriage would end before it even began. Imagine entering a marriage already preparing for its funeral.”

Ms Kazaure’s new essay, however, does not dwell on the circumstances that caused their marriage to collapse or make allegations against her former husband. Instead, she uses the experience to reflect on her complicated relationship with love and her tendency to anticipate loss even when things are going well.

She described herself as someone who is constantly “waiting for the next shoe to drop”, including during happy periods.

Love again

Additionally, she disclosed that after her marriage to Mr Bashir ended, she fell in and out of love.

Ms Kazaure described men as people who could stain someone’s white garment. She said she preferred to own her embarrassing experiences before anyone could use them against her.

“Then my marriage actually ended. And somehow, several months later, I fell in love again. Of course I did. For someone with so little faith in men, I have a ridiculous amount of faith in love. I trusted again. Hoped again. Imagined again. And got my heart broken again.

“There is a saying that men will stain your white. The irony is that I love wearing white. I spent almost an entire month wearing white to work. This is a terrible choice because I am clumsy and perpetually rushing. My friend at work asks me: “Why do you bother wearing white? Every time we eat, you stain yourself””, Ms Kazaure added.

According to her, her twins are the only part of her life she has never grown tired of.

She noted that businesses have come and gone, hobbies have changed, and some friendships have suffered along the way.