‘Are you looking for a provider’: How rising costs are reshaping dating for Gen Z

I went on a date a few days ago. The cafe was aesthetic, the food was delicious, and the craft cocktails were unlike anything we’d tried before. The conversation was fun, our pictures came out super cute, and when the bill arrived, close to Rs 5,000, we went Dutch. But once I reached home, I quietly moved the lipstick sitting in my shopping cart to the wishlist. Back in college, dating looked like hanging out at fast-food joints, chai tapris, and cafes my pocket money could cover. Lately, stepping out for a meal easily rivals my monthly electricity bill.

Nandhitha Bhaskar echoes the sentiment pretty well. To her, dropping Rs 400 on a coffee and spending two hours with someone she matched with three days ago takes some serious calculation. Now imagine after all this effort, you end up getting ghosted a few days in.

“Honestly, I don’t think ghosting is even about not liking someone, half the time. It’s more like, I don’t know this person yet, so why am I spending 800 bucks on this?” she admitted candidly. According to the brand partnership manager at Student Tribe, Hyderabad, the hypervisibility of money has become both a boon and a curse. The upside? You get to track each and every penny. Downside? You become too conscious of it.

“Money is so visible now. Everything’s on UPI, so you literally watch the amount leave right then and there. And when you’re already seeing your subscriptions, Swiggy orders, and everything else in the same app, another 800 for a date just hits different,” she stressed.

Not all dates have to be expensive. (Magnific)

Manav Lopez feels Gen Z, for the most part, isn’t ghosting dates on purpose. “It’s simply the lack of affordable options that is making it difficult to date,” said the Mumbai-based student interning at a fashion magazine.
“The cafés are too expensive even when we’re earning, and it doesn’t account for the shrinking portions plus rising costs, which makes the dates feel inadequate,” he shared.

Having recently quit his job and started over again, he’s found it increasingly difficult to afford restaurants like he could before. “The bill would simply not be below Rs 1,500-2,000 per outing in any ‘decent place’ in Mumbai,” he exclaimed.

Inflation is not the only culprit

While we tend to moan and crib about rising costs, clinical psychologist Masuma Zainab would not put all the blame on inflation alone. Sure, finances create pressure, but she believes how we handle that, through honest conversation or by disappearing, comes down to our insecurities and the pressure to look a certain way. Ultimately, most people want to feel seen and listened to, and that costs nothing, she concludes.

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As the cost of living increases, Gen Z is noticing an interesting trend towards “infladating” —choosing less expensive and more informal dates, according to the online dating service Plenty of Fish. But this raises a more interesting question: What happens when young people become more aware of what they spend on a date and then feel pressure to look like someone who can afford to date?

According to Shivani Rai, clinical psychologist at Maarga Mind Care Gurugram, this gap between affording the date and affording the image of being someone who dates is pushing youngsters to feel compelled to present themselves online as desirable, interesting, and aspirational.

Instagram trends play a large role. (Magnific)

Keeping up with Instagram trends

Bhaskar added another layer, sharing how the pressure to make dating look good on Instagram has pushed people to borrow money from lending apps so they don’t look broke. “It is honestly kind of insane when you sit with it, going into actual debt for something that’s supposed to be low pressure,” she said.

Rai said self-presentation is now more crucial than ever in meeting someone via dating apps. “Photos, a bio and a social media profile can be the first introduction to a person. It’s not just that you need to find someone, you need to show someone a version of yourself that they want to choose,” she said.

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The psychologist explained that this carefully crafted activity is making identity feel less like self-expression and more like a project.

“While these matches, likes, replies and rejections may not mean much about a person’s value, they can become a form of feedback on their desirability. This comparison is carried over to social media, where individuals judge themselves based on the overall impression of their life rather than just their appearance,” she elaborated.

‘Are you looking for a provider’?

Lately, Bhaskar feels dates have started feeling like you are “subtly pointing out what you bring to the table, and who’s going to take care of what”.

“Apparently people are actually having the ‘are you looking for a provider?’ conversation now—in a quest to figure out what role the other person even wants before anything real happens,” she added.

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Avalyn Kaur Sethi feels splitting the bill can actually make dating feel more equal and comfortable. As a working, financially independent woman, she likes being able to contribute rather than feeling someone else is expected to pay simply because they’re the man.

“It takes away some of the traditional expectations around ‘who owes whom something’ and allows both people to simply enjoy the experience for what it is,” the PR professional told indianexpress.com.

Quality of the conversation and comfort between two people matter much more than how much is being spent. (AI generated image)

When should money come up in dating?

Zainab said once you get into a relationship and lock in, that is when you should have the money conversation. For students, that might mean agreeing on a monthly budget that works for both of you.

But ghosting is where she would push back. “The bill may be the trigger, but ghosting is never justified, and it isn’t really about money,” she said.

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According to the psychologist, a 2023 study on personal relationships and ghosters published in the journal of the International Association of Romantic Relationships finds that the dominant motive is avoiding discomfort, such as an awkward conversation or the other person’s hurt, rather than cruelty or indifference.

“It’s a defence mechanism, and there is usually something deeper behind it, like insecurity or a fear of being judged. That is a communication and emotional-safety issue —not a budget one,” she elaborated.

So, has dating become unaffordable for Gen Z?

Sethi does not necessarily think dating has become unaffordable. For her, it is more important to be intentional about how you spend.

“A good date doesn’t have to mean an expensive restaurant or an elaborate plan. For me, the quality of the conversation and the comfort between two people matter much more than who paid for what,” she said.

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Lopez is also seeing someone, but they have made it a point to find better alternatives that let them spend more quality time together than picking a restaurant that would strain their finances.

Zainab agreed, saying love isn’t expensive at its core. “Asking them out, being curious about them, and planning something thoughtful is what counts,” she shared.

According to her, a picnic in the park can be a date, and so can chai at a tapri. “If you’re a college student, no one expects you to take them to a fancy restaurant. If you can afford it once a month, go for it; there’s nothing wrong with wanting that,” she told indianexpress.com.

And research backs this up. Quoting The New Economics of Dating Report (2026), Zainab said that 84 per cent of Gen Z and millennial daters say rising costs have affected their dating lives. She added that frugality landed as a green flag, “with 38 per cent judging someone positively for planning an affordable, thoughtful date versus 23 per cent for an extravagant one”.

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So, before you plan anything, Zainab suggested asking what the person likes. Most will just tell you, and you can usually find an affordable version of it.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute financial or investment advice. Individual financial situations vary, and readers are advised to consult a qualified financial planner, advisor, or mental health professional before making financial decisions.