‘It’s okay to be messy’: Lust Stories 3 actor Radhika Madan on emotional wellbeing

The actor shared that she found it difficult to even articulate sadness (Photo: @radhikkamadan/Instagram)

Radhika Madan has opened up about her approach to managing difficult emotions, saying she has learnt that it is okay to feel lost, uncertain and emotionally messy rather than constantly trying to turn negative experiences into positive ones.

“It’s okay to be messy, emotionally. It’s okay to not know and be lost. You can operate in grey, and you need to be kind to yourself for that,” the Lust Stories 3 actor said.

The actor recalled that she used to counter every negative thought with multiple positive ones. “I used to think no performance, high performance. So, if negative thoughts come into your mind, then I used to counter it with 10 positive thoughts,” she said.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to. 

However, she eventually realised this approach didn’t allow her to process what had hurt her properly.

“What used to happen was that the things which hurt me or which went out of my hands or whatever sorrows I had, I did not give them any space, I had not shed any light on them,” Radhika said.

Why acknowledging negative emotions matters

Radhika shared that she has since worked on learning how to channel difficult emotions. She admitted that she found it difficult to even articulate sadness and would instinctively try to replace it with a positive thought.

“My therapist told me that I need to acknowledge all the emotions and not like judge them,” she told Filmygyan.

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Dr Rimpa Sarkar, psychologist, Founder, Sentier Wellness, Mumbai, explained that acknowledging an emotion does not mean allowing it to control one’s behaviour.

“Acknowledging an emotion without judging it means being able to say, ‘I am feeling sad,’ or ‘I am angry,’ without immediately adding, ‘I should not feel this way,’” Dr Rimpa said.

“An emotion is information, not necessarily an instruction that we have to act upon,” she added.

The expert highlighted that people can begin developing this awareness by pausing when an emotion arises, naming it and noticing how it manifests physically instead of immediately trying to suppress or change it.

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“People can learn this through pausing, naming the emotion, noticing where it shows up physically and allowing it to be present without immediately trying to change it,” she said.

Can forced positivity delay emotional processing?

Trying to immediately replace difficult emotions with positive thoughts can sometimes leave little room to understand what caused those emotions in the first place. Dr Rimpa said accepting emotional discomfort can reduce the pressure to always appear fine or have everything figured out.

“Giving ourselves permission to be emotionally messy reduces the pressure to have everything figured out or to appear fine when we are not,” she said.

Dr Rimpa said understanding another person’s behaviour, however, does not mean excusing it.

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“Sometimes forgiveness becomes possible not because the pain was insignificant, but because we have processed it enough that we no longer need to remain emotionally stuck in it,” she said.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.