Where I stare at my e-mail willing my Malaysian ISBN approval to appear

NOVEMBER 4 — I thought self-publishing a book would just be about writing a book, uploading it to the internet and then forgetting about it enough to write another book.

Writing a book is apparently the easiest part of the process.

My current frustration is trying to get an ISBN number for the paperback version of the book.

The good news is that it’s free from the National Library Depository (apparently it’s very expensive in the US and the UK) but the bad news is that the website to apply for one likes to flop over and play dead every two business weeks.

At first I couldn’t even register for it properly but mysteriously after I sent in an enquiry with my work email account it suddenly worked.

The whole process is, on paper, easy. 

You fill in the details, then upload PDFs of various sections. I had to upload my title page, copyright page, table of contents and cover (in JPG).

A book born out of gratitude, a little stubbornness and a lot of late-night formatting. Now if only the ISBN gods would smile.

Probably they were just making sure I wasn’t, heaven forbid, publishing erotica.

After a whole week passed, I got an email saying I needed to amend my submission as apparently my copyright page needed to have my full name, the city I was in as well as the postcode.

Thus I amended said page and uploaded it; now I just stare at my email inbox willing my ISBN approval to appear.

In the past I was told all you needed was to fill some Google Docs and be done within a couple of days.

My friend whose colleague often had to deal with the depository once upon a time told me this: “Do you know they don’t answer calls? Or emails? He had to go in person all the time to get the ISBN sorted.”

I have no idea if it’s true but please pray for the staff if by this Thursday I still haven’t gotten my ISBN.

An ISBN is not required by law but if I want the book in our national library (of course I want that, it’s a childhood dream) then I can’t do without one.

Another self-published author said that in the old days it would only take two days but her latest book took 22 days and counting, just when she had a book fair she needed to attend.

My friends have been supportive and my overseas ex-classmates from school are excitedly asking how to order copies and, being Malaysian, asking how they can do it in a way I make the most profit.

I laughed and told them that outside Malaysia, they should just get it from Amazon. With Kindle Direct Publishing they can get paperbacks without paying ruinous shipping and I don’t need to stock inventory.

Instead, books will be printed on-demand but that would also mean I would need to format my book and the cover properly. 

Having to learn desktop publishing overnight has made me wring my hands a lot while apologising (internally) to all the graphic designers I terrorised over the years.

As to profit, the book was never about making money. If I make a few ringgit that would be a nice bonus (please don’t penalise me Mr Taxman) but my intention is best expressed in a Chinese saying 滴水之恩，涌泉相报.

Literally: A drop of water shall be returned with a burst of spring. Meaning: That even the smallest kindness should be repaid with the fullest extent of your capabilities.

Through the combined kindness of so many people I get to sit here writing this column instead of being, well, dead, so the least I could do is write a book for the people who I think would need it the most.

Find out next week if they finally give me my ISBN and if I win my next battle — with my book printer.