Inside the men’s circles trying to stop femicide before it starts [video]

In a Johannesburg informal settlement, a group of men gather in a circle.

They’re not there to watch soccer or share a drink.

They’re there to talk about something many South African men avoid: violence against women.

And the man leading the conversation wants them to see themselves differently.

He’s Itumeleng Stephen Tamaga, known locally as Bra Steve.

He’s the local organiser of Father A Nation (FAN), a non-profit that works with men and boys to promote positive masculinity and help end violence against women.

The BBC recently joined one of his gatherings in Organic Market, an informal settlement in Johannesburg.

WHY THESE CONVERSATIONS MATTER NOW

The talks come at a painful time.

As The South African has previously reported, the discovery of women’s bodies in Ekurhuleni, near Johannesburg, has reignited questions about the scale of violence against women.

By 5 October, the bodies of 12 women had been found in Ekurhuleni since July.

Police have not confirmed that the deaths are linked.

By late September, at least four people were in police custody in connection with some of the killings.

Another victim, Boitumelo Mashita, 23, was allegedly shot by her estranged husband.

Bra Steve’s message to the men was direct.

“You as a man are a powerful force for good,” he told them. He added that women need to be safe.

Some of the men were honest about their own pasts.

Kgomotso Mathekga, 30, admitted that he once grabbed and slapped his girlfriend during an argument.

The couple broke up, and he said he no longer sees his child.

WHO IS FATHER A NATION?

Father A Nation is a non-profit company that addresses gender-based violence (GBV), crime and fatherlessness.

It aims to do this by restoring and equipping men to be nation-builders, fathers and role models.

FAN has been running programmes in communities, schools, colleges and corporates across South Africa since 2010.

Craig Wilkinson founded the organisation and serves as its chief executive officer (CEO).

Wilkinson is also the author of books and courses on fatherhood, positive masculinity and overcoming GBV.

By 2024, FAN said more than 300,000 men had been exposed to its programmes.

WHAT FATHER A NATION DOES

FAN’s work is built on one idea: that “wounded masculinity” is destructive, while healthy masculinity is a gift to society.

It reaches men through events, workshops, camps, mentorship and “mantalks”.

The aim is to teach men to use their strength to love, serve, protect and provide, and to become activists against any form of abuse.

WHY FATHERLESSNESS IS PART OF THE PROBLEM

FAN believes the crisis starts at home.

According to the State of South Africa’s Fathers 2024 report, 64.5% of children in South Africa didn’t live with their biological fathers in 2023.

FAN argues that men who grow up with positive, present father figures are less likely to become perpetrators of violent crime.

Wilkinson has said that modelling healthy masculinity can stop “the cycle of GBV at its roots.”

WHAT FATHER A NATION WANTS TO ACHIEVE

FAN’s mission is to raise the next generation of men to build a safe and prosperous South Africa.

Its long-term goal is to build a lasting movement of men who are outstanding fathers, mentors and role models.

In FAN’s profile on MIT Solve, its founder writes that he started the organisation believing that “if we can heal men, we can heal the world.”

I find it powerful that this work happens in circles of men, not just in courtrooms or on protest marches.

GBV is often discussed as a women’s issue. But women can’t end it on their own.

Watching men hold each other accountable gives me a little hope.

DO YOU THINK MORE MEN NEED TO JOIN CONVERSATIONS LIKE THESE?