G Flip and Chrishell Stause have broken up and like many in the queer community, I’m in mourning | Rebecca Shaw

In this current bummer of a world, we often wake up to bad news. This morning, it was devastating. I picked up my phone and saw multiple texts asking me how I felt about the fact that … Chrishell Stause and G Flip have broken up.

If those names seem like some sort of gibberish to you, I won’t expect you to understand the seismic shift. While I was sleeping soundly in Australia in the knowledge that love exists, Strause, from the LA “real estate” show Selling Sunset, posted a vulnerable and deeply sad video where she revealed that she and Australian drummer G Flip have parted ways after being married for several years.

Her clear, genuine sadness, her talk of feeling like a failure – it moved me. I posted about it on Instagram and in came the flood of responses: Nooooo. Love is dead. Love isn’t real. Whose fault is this. I’m devastated. I’m in mourning. And so on and so forth. Many queer people in particular have been sliced in the heart by this news. Every group chat I’m in is talking about it (not all instigated by me).

I’ve started seeing comments under posts about the breakup such as “Who?” or worse, “Who cares?” and I have to tell you that I care. We care. To me, and people like me, this relationship was a beautiful queer success story.

Chrishell comes from a poor background, and her previous marriage ended in a brutal public dumping by actor Justin Hartley. She joined Selling Sunset as a real estate agent and soon became the main character as she compellingly rebuilt her life. During the process she met and fell in love with a non-binary drummer from Australia.

Watching someone from such a hyper heterosexual world like Los Angeles real estate, from a hyper heterosexual show like Selling Sunset, begin to dip her toe into the queer world was amazing. Watching her experiencing a truly fulfilling romantic relationship and falling for someone who loved her back and encouraged her to be her true self was a balm. Bringing that queer dynamic to the world of reality TV was also deeply enjoyable.

I think everyone tuned into this public relationship was happy to see Chrishell glowing. She and G Flip travelled together, their love always seeming to become stronger and more joyous. Chrishell seemed to love Australia, and in fact became part of Australia, endearing herself by travelling to all sorts of places G Flip’s music took her, such as Wollongong. When she ordered a flat white in a Selling Sunset scene at a cafe, I felt national pride. When the show introduced wide American audiences to their relationship, and to Chrishell’s hyper femme love for the non-binary G Flip, the couple received homophobic hate. But their love endured.

Until now.

Of course, we don’t know what happened. We know that Chrishell seems heartbroken, posting a video because she felt she owed it to the fans of their relationship, the ones who have been so supportive. We know that she seems confused, saying it won’t be hard for her to be respectful of G Flip “because I am in love with this person”, and adding she doesn’t “have all the information and the reasons” for the breakup.

We know that G Flip posted, saying that their head and heart feel very heavy. Ultimately, as much as I would love a full investigative report, a timeline, perhaps a podcast series, we are strangers to these two people and their relationship. Their love seemed genuine and real, and as we all know, that sometimes isn’t enough. Chrishell also said she is “definitely never doing this again”. I hope she doesn’t mean true love, I hope she means that after her public marriage breakup with Justin Hartley and her very visible relationship with G Flip, she won’t be bringing an audience along with her next time.

It must be pretty exhausting to have your romantic life turned into a spectator sport, even if the spectators are mostly well-meaning strangers, such as lesbians who love your love.

So for now, I and many others will be in a short period of mourning. It’s yet another loss of a nice thing. I will be lighting a candle and accepting condolences. And then, I will be trying to get on with my life, just as Chrishell and G Flip will. Love may not be dead, but it certainly had a difficult morning.