Below Deck season 13 premiere: promises, peanuts, and potential

Normally when Bravo’s Below Deck franchise changes shifts, handing off one boat to another, I’m ready for fresh faces. But as a season of television (not a contributor to real-life horrors), Below Deck Mediterranean didn’t wear out its welcome.

The last season of Below Deck proper did, however, because it was the atrocious Love Island wannabe season. So watching this first episode of Below Deck season 13, I was a little irritated—Ugh, Fraser, go away, bring back Aesha! Who do you think you are, fuckboy deckhand? Joe?! Nice try.

Adding to that: Thailand is stunning; the new boat, not so much. I looked up some details: Azul V was built in 1996 and retrofitted in 2015; St. David, from the past three seasons, was built in 2008 and retrofitted in 2025. It’s also smaller.

Let’s look at the rates—not that this is what the production company is paying:

• Azul V: $155,000 per week
• St. David: $340,000 to $403,500 per week

So I think it’s safe to assume this boat costs less and, as a bonus, is so old it’ll fall apart mid-season and create drama. For the first charter, it barely got off the dock! And it only starts three times before its starter’s pressurized air has to be replaced. What is this, Jeff Lewis’ lips?

The good thing about this boat is the crew quarters seem more substantial, and we can see more with the cameras than on Below Deck Med’s Akira One, which looked like closets compared to garages on this ship.

And now to its crew. Returning are:

• Captain Kerry, who we first met on Below Deck ADVENTURE!! and last saw hanging out with drunk charter guests. He’s not quite as disengaged as Captain Fishtank Jason, but I generally find Kerry to be kinda boring except when he says adventure!
• Chief stew Fraser, newly broken up with Matt Rogers, who didn’t even get name-checked by Fraser or the show, despite being the more famous of the two. I think? I’ve grown tired of him over the seasons as he’s gotten more and more Mean Girls versus Aesha turning more and more into Mary Poppins.
• Rainbeau, who thought herself to be “quite harsh and quite rude” last season, but she was also dealing with Solene, who would have caused any of us to go off the deep end.

New this season:

• Moises, the chef—not Chef Mo, because as he told Fraser, “don’t call me chef, that gives me the ick.” I’m already a fan because he’s low-key, no-nonsense, and great at his job. I may soon need a Joy and Mo show on Peacock.
• Rosa, a stew who has previously been a chief stew and tells us she’s best at “being dominant” and is “good at being bossy.” So she’s in the Gen role, e.g. someone who has more experience yet is turned into an underling to try to get her to explode.
• Alex, the bosun, who seems competent and who Kerry said is “doing fantastic right now,” which isn’t high praise compared to his last opening-charter bosun, Caio, and compared to our most-recent reference, that moldy turd Nathan Gallagher, who gives moldy turds a bad name.
• Matt and James are deckhands who I mostly could not tell apart until:
  • Matt revealed himself to be the obnoxious I-can-do-it-better deckhand who also seems like a player, filling the Joe role
  • James revealed that he defines his “sexuality as straight, bent it a little bit—I’m here for the boys as well.” Friend, use whatever labels you want, but if you’re here for the ladies and the boys, I think bisexual is a fitting term, though straight but bends the rules for cock has a ring to it.

• Jessenia, a female deckhand who told us “my balls hang low.” She shared the sexism and misogyny she’s dealt with by reading from a note she keeps titled “Things guys have said or done to me on boats,” starting with: “You know what these knee pads are for? Getting a raise.” I have an answer for that guy: They’re for you to get on your knees and beg forgiveness, except you doesn’t deserve that and should scrape the shit out of your knees.
• Kaylee, the clueless stew, who told Fraser, “I haven’t put anyone’s clothes away, ever.” Even your own? She told us “I was taught that if I do good, I get praise” like a dog: “do good, get a treat.” So that should work well on Below Deck.

Rainbeau immediately started making friends by saying it “might be for the best” that she wasn’t in the same room as one of the other stews, because that’s a “lot of time to spend with someone.”

Captain Kerry met with the crew and told them “I don’t want you bringing drama,” and you could hear someone choking on their coffee off-camera and shouting, Ignore him! He’s not even the real captain! Speaking of, I miss when Below Deck would introduce us to the off-camera crew, like the engineer and first officer and Other Guy Who Knows Things.

Fraser kicked off his leadership demo by giving Rainbeau a rambling list of things to do that sounded like, well, everything to do. And then later—while playing with a strand of her hair in the hallway!—he said she should also add to her list: “keep an eye out for everyone.” What is Fraser going to do if Rainbeau is doing all of that?

Alex seemed to have a more-successful first meeting, but then he promoted Matt to lead deckhand just randomly while sitting in the crew mess, and told everyone else the next morning.

My favorite moment with the leaders, though, was Fraser telling Alex, “It all works out—promise,” and then, as Fraser walked up the stairs, he muttered to himself, “I really wish I hadn’t made that promise.”

The first charter guests are Kenny Flowers and his wife Christina. Or maybe it’s Kenny who sells flowers? Anyway Christina has a severe nut allergy, and because Thailand is known for its peanut butter-covered streets and boiled p-nuts* thunderstorms, couldn’t visit unless on a yacht. (* Down here in Florida, we often see signs for “boiled p-nuts,” which I appreciate because that means they haven’t used AI and turned their poster into nightmare fuel.)

They also came all the way to Thailand to experience the local culture: a cabaret show from Bravo reality stars who can’t even do their actual jobs. And they maybe also want to be Bravo stars because they know TJ from Southern Hospitality and want to hook him up with Fraser. Don’t give the producers ideas! Their matchmaking doesn’t go well.

So far, the guests seem low-key and easy, and they’re loving Mo’s food—one even joked, “I was really hoping to complain” at dinner. Maybe that wasn’t a joke!

We learned a lot about Mo in this episode, including that he has a 19-year-old who was born when he was 19, and his best friend died from peanut allergy, holy shit. So he’s taking the allergy seriously, not sneaking

Mo not only doesn’t come doesn’t exude the toxic also he’s “I’m straight positive, man. No negative. I don’t throw pots and pans. I’m not with the bullshit,” from Queens, Le Cordon Belaeu Pittsburgh. had daughter at 19, now 19

Fraser’s review of Mo’s food was: “shit, bro.” And he told us, “It’s almost unsettling how cool he is.” Please let it stay that way; I’m over the toxic chef era of Below Deck. Only toxic bosuns from now on!

The episode ended on two notes of conflict:

1. Matt declaring “I think Alex is too soft. I know and I believe I can do a better job,” so he definitely is in Joe mode.
2. Rainbeau projecting her anxiety about Solene onto Rosa, who showed remarkable patience before blowing up:
   Rainbeau: “Any questions you might have of me? Are you sure you feel comfortable?”
   Rosa: “I’ve done lots of these.”
   Rainbeau: “Is it more than an hours worth…”
   Rosa: PLEASE HAVE MORE FAITH IN ME!

With that as our season-premiere cliffhanger, I’m encouraged that we’re not back in Love Island mode, and that leadership dynamics might take the story lead again this season. And considering the season-long preview didn’t have anything super-dramatic in it, other than someone getting a stern lecture from Kerry and/or making people cry,

A few other things I didn’t want to forget before I have to go buy more compressed air:

• The primaries showed up wearing matching outfits, which I’d mock except I appreciated being able to tell who they are. A+. But then all the guest wore the same clothes to dinner so I’ll adjust that to a D.
• Best moment of the yacht tour: “Watch your head.” *guest hits head* “Keep watching your head”
• When Mo served coconut ice cream, I was like, Wait, isn’t that a potential allergen?! For some people, apparently, yes, though not in the same family as other nuts. In January 2025—you know, before science ran out the door screaming—the FDA changed its guidance, removing coconut from its tree nut list along with other nuts.
• In the season preview, Alex kisses Jessenia, who he’s nicknamed “Sen” (I couldn’t tell if she actually uses that nickname or if he needed one for her because three syllables is too many for Alex.) After the kiss, we see Alex say, “She is part of my team. That can cause problems.” You think?! Maybe producers should require some sexual harassment training?
• Nice to see Captain Kerry helping Mo with trash in the galley and the deckhands with the guests’ luggage. Maybe he’s decided to be more like Captain Sandy this season.

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